Loss, change, goodbyes....all these things are tough on a persons heart and soul. It seems I have struggled with all of these for the past 6 months especially. There are times I am not even sure how I am going to make it to the top. The pain that pulses through a heart when forced to accept change and say goodbye can be an unbearable experience. There are days I want to shout at the top of my lungs..."God, I know you have plans and a purpose for me, but PLEASE just whisper in my ear and tell me if its going to be ok and that will I make out on the other side while the sun is still shining..."
There are times I wonder if my heart is capable of beating one more time.
Questions fill my mind and keep me up at night. I know that God never allows us to carry anything too heavy..just once I'd like for Him to consult me before adding to my load or requiring me to say goodbye to people I love....
there are days when i feel I must write....if nothing else to clear my mind and try to make sense out of the craziness that has become my life. today is one of those days....writing through the process...only one thing....usually at the end I feel better....tonight? not so much...