Drops of Hope

I am so excited! After much prayer and planning and love support and encouragement. My vision is coming into real life.
I am in the process of forming a non profit organization toserve foster families in the community. We had our first event last night. Foster parents night out. I lined up a bunch of volunteers. Planned games, activities, food (pizza and pasta), cupcake decorating, books and coloring. The parents dropped their kiddos off at 6 and we played, talked, laughed, ate and danced until 8 when they returned to pick them up. I am not sure who had more fun....us, the kiddos or the foster parents. I am anxious to hear if they plan on coming again. We have decided to offer this night-out once a month. I have many ideas of ways we can support these prescious families. I am so excited!
The blog for Drops of Hope is almost complete. When it is (after my good friend Trudy teaches me all of her bloggery tricks) I will post a link here.
If you would like to help in any way with Drops of Hope please let me know!

It sure has been a busy week aroud here. Isaiah was sick Sunday- Tuesday. He finally felt up to going to school today. A good day to choose since Wednesdays the kids get out early. Short days are good for getting back into the swing. Samuel has been fighting an asthma flareup. Hate that.
So far everyone else has managed to stay healthy.
My mother fell in her kitchen overe weekend and finally decided she should be checked out by a doctor so the Burrito and I took her in to the doc Monday. Thank goodness nothing was broken. She is awful sore and hobbling around.
God has been working on my heart. He is pushing me to step out in faith and jump with both feet. The ministry He has laid on my heart is coming together. I am nearly ready to reveal the new Blog. As soon as my good friend Trudy helps me learn a couple of her bloggery tricks I will be ready to reveal. Our first out reach is this Friday. I am so excited to see what God has in store! I have been working really hard all week on the details.
Last night we had a meeting for Madison, things are not any more clear today than they were. But I must say that I believe the road is being paved and people are being chosen to help us usher her into the next phase of her life as successfully as she possibly can be.
Dominique's car was broken into on Sunday in Baltimore hs window was shattered and they searched until they found his GPS. The one his uncle bought him for Christmas, the one that brought peace to this mothers heart knowing he would not get lost in the big city. Life lessons stink! His window will be fixed tomorrow and he will have to rely on a map to get around. And I. will. have. to. trust. and pray!
The Burrito had amazing news at the doctor last week. He has doubled his size since he arrived at our home!!! He is amazing and onry and I love to watch each accomplishment unfold!
Elijah is anxiously awaiting the opening ceremony for baseball. His 'first favorite sport!'

Red Culture Conference

Some of the childrens ministry team went to the Red Culture Conference this weekend. Like all conferences there were parts I tucked away into my heart and mind for later and parts I tossed out. Pastor Heath preached straight to my heart last night. He spoke into some ministry ideas I have been brainstorming about with some friends and I left there excited and encouraged about things to come. There were so many things that were said throughout the weekend.
Friday high light:
The subject of cultural shift and shock came up "Jesus operated in the culture He was in." That was powerful to me. So many times we as leaders try to get the children who walk through our door to conform to what we believe they should be and we can get hung up on appearance etc. What we need to do if we want these kids to trust us and know that the motives of our hearts are love pure and simple then we need to operate in and do all we can to understand their culture.
Pastor Heath quotes that touched my heart:
(when praying) "Lord ruin my heart for the children." WOW I thought on that for some time.
"On judgement day we will be held accountable for the motives of our heart."
"God thank you for allowing me to be footprints on the sands of time." (in a prayer so I may not be right on with the words I tried to remember exactly how he said it.) I love that. I never thought of my footprints lasting in time....
"help us leave our spiritual DNA on this generation." like the one before. I am not sure I got it word for word...we were praying. THINK ABOUT IT! Spiritual DNA!
If its not done with excellence don't do it at all!!! I am going to do my best to live up to this in all areas of my life.
Saturday high light:
Discipleship starts in their head moves to their heart and is lived out through their hands. The teacher sows the word of God into their intellect. The Holy Spirit moves in the child's heart to help them accept it. The child chooses to commit thier life to God.

should be a scene in a movie

When I was flying home from Maryland a couple weeks ago I was stuck in Cincinnati for a couple hours and decided since I had not eaten all day and since it was approaching 7pm I would get a sandwich. I found a Quiznos and just after I ordered a group of professional people who were clearly friends and traveling together lined up behind me. They were friendly and having a good time teasing each other. I tried to act like I wasn't paying attention to their antics until the second lady stepped up to place her order....what she said cracked me up so much that I had to say something...
guy behind the counter: May I help you?
lady: yes, uuuuummmmm OK I think I'm ready. I'd like the veggie sub only could you please leave off the tomato, lettuce, onion and pepper, and would you mind putting some smoked turkey on it for me?
guy behind the counter (looking puzzled): Ma'am....did you mean you would like the turkey sub?
lady: nnnnooooooooo, I would like the veggie sub with no lettuce, no tomato, no onion, no peppers. please add the turkey and some cheese. (smile)
by this time all of her friends were laughing hysterically and trying to point out to her that what she ordered WAS in fact the turkey sub....she insisted it was not the same...poor guy behind the counter sought help from his co-worker and she got the exact same response.....so since the customer IS always right....she ordered...paid for....and received....a veggie sub without the veggies but adding turkey and cheese.
I told her friend who was standing with me the entire time...."this should totally be a scene from a movie!" The no veggies lady was very serious and did not see the situation as nearly as humorous as the rest of us!

faith..grace...trust...and change..

psalm 31:14-15
14 But I am trusting you, O Lord,
saying, “You are my God!”
15 My future is in your hands.
Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
Everything that is good and perfect comes from God. God is:
never failing
keeper of His promises
keeper of His Word
will not foresake us
Truth
giver of Life
Never will leave us.

As I travel the road of changes in life sometimes I find myself off the road and traveling a trail. God saves me from the dangers of uncharted trail and wandering aimlessly through wilderness. there are times I can not see why things happen the way they do. But, God is still there, God is still God. He is ever patient with me as I reason with Him through my human heart. His compassion and love brings me back home to Him.
I am growing in my walk with Him. I am learning to give all my joys, all my worries, all my disappointments, all my goals, and my dreams over to Him. I lay them all in His mighty Hands. What a comfort it is to know that I do not need to know what is coming next on these crazy roads I travel, I do not need to understand all the whys and hows of this road. Because God knows where my feet will land on every next step I take. I may get off onto some trail every now and again. But, He will lovingly guide and yes, sometimes carry me back to the main road of His plan.
Faith is the road we travel in order to recieve Grace, God provides grace to meet us where our need is. If we try to do things on our own without being open to receiving the Grace He has for us then it really does not matter how much faith we have we will not receive what we are asking for. The bible says that Grace is the power of God coming to us through our faith to meet our needs.
If we get frustrated it is because we are trying to make things happen on our own. It is not because we have no faith, it is because we have stopped there, just short of allowing His Grace to make the difference.
We get frustrated because we have plans for our lives and sometimes those plans don't work out as we thought they should. What we need to do is trust and rely on God's Grace. Because He knows what we are facing everyday, at work, at home, every step we take, in every situation. If we trust Him enough to allow Him to lead, then He will work out all the details. And what the end result is will be better than what we could have imagined in the first place.
When we get into those situations where it is difficult to remember how to rely on His Grace, lets face it, we are human, so those situations come more often than we would like. See the frustration, stop, ask God, "God, please give me grace in this situation". Then believe that God has heard your prayer and is answering it as you walk through the rest of your day. Leave it there at His feet, trust Him and he will give you the grace to survive any change that comes your way.

It has been a while since I have updated on the troops....I have been caught up in the big move that I have neglected the others....they are still here....and active. Trust me!
The Burrito is into EVERYTHING now....he climbs into over and on anything he can hike his chubby little legs onto. He loves being outdoors and the next best thing is a window to the big wide world he will sit for hours playing by the open door or window. The other day he pushed my books off the end table and climbed up opened the curtain and played happily there in the sunshine for a long time.
Samuel is doing better, I think. We have had less timeout and more play time so thats a good sign. Either that, or he is getting sneekier....hhhmmmm... on thing I love about Sam is when something tickles his funny bone his laugh is one of my favorite things to hear....I love his laugh!
Amaris is making new friends in school. She is becoming quite the socialite....I better watch that! She does well in school also. Everyday she must wear something pink, its a MUST!
Elijah missed basketball this season. We had too much going on to add that. He is looking forward to baseball sign ups are this week. My cousin Joy got engaged this past weekend and when I told the kids Lij said he is gonna be the flower boy cuz boys can carry flowers too! Lij loves Joy and here is a big bonus he loves Luke too! ;0)
Isaiah has been struggling with pain again lately, more numbness and tingling, less energy. Please pray for him We are trying really hard to wait until May to make the trip to see his docs...He is loving being back at school for 6th grade. The best decision we could of made!
Madison. Just turned 17. I could just end there. Cuz anyone who knows teeneage girls could probly just fill in the blanks and know what life is like around here. She just started a new job through her EBEC class at school for one class period a day she gets to work at a day care. She was very excited!
Dominique is settling in with Joslyn and life is good in his world!

a vapor.....

It seems alot of people around me choose a personal theme for the new year. I have been thinking about it a lot. 2008 was a year of change for me. change. acceptance. loss. growth. In looking forward to 2009 and reflecting on the past I have thought many different things. Do I want my theme to be reflective of how I feel in this moment. a desire of my heart. a hope for the future. a passing thought. Why does it seem so easy for others to come up with a theme for their lives? I like words like refreshing....rejuvinate.....hope.....
Sitting in church last night I was pondering a multitude of thoughts....I can't even list all of them here. Then this gentleman walked across the platform and prepared to sing. He began by saying 'life is but a vapor' I found my thoughts hanging on that statement and missed the rest of what he said. Bummer cuz I am sure it was good. Any way. I have been thinking about that statement. It is so true. Like a vapor we are here and then....gone. I want my vapor to be so profound and leave such a positive impact behinde that no one will ever forget who I was. Not for the popularity. Not because I want to be 'known' or famous. But because I want people to hear my name and think of the change that took place in this world because I followed God's voice and stood in the gap for those who had no one else.
I am no closer today to finding a special theme for the year 2009. I do know that God has been bringing special people from yesterdays gone by back into my life for a reason. God has lined up my world in this way for a reason.
There are so many times I wish He would write His plans on a tablet and and leave them on my doorstep for me....but I know He wont. Another lesson for me to learn....waiting....

caziness that is my life.

It is funny how you can be gone and return to your life and things seem to pile one on top of the other. I got back late Thursday night last week and still am not caught up on all the things that were left unattended in my absence.
I have to get a new wall calendar...it is making me crazy trying to keep track of all the activities, appointments, etc. on the corner of Dec. I have been looking for one and can't seem to find the one I want. I was planning on going to Staples this morning to get a calendar, some special paper and a nice book so I can get organized again and finish Gramma's special book of letters, I have come to the coclusion that I have all the letters that I am going to get. I was really hoping for more but will work with what I got.
Today was supposed to be a day of catching up.....but.....mother nature decided we needed more snow, so the monsters get out of school early....and the Burrito is not taking his nap....so.....I guess I will have to catch up on things tomorrow. Nope! 2 kids have appointments ion the morning and I have to be in court for CASA in the afternoon and then we have REFRESH at church tomorrow night....so when will I catch up???? Maybe I will try to ignore everything this week and catch up next....yeah....uuummmm no, that will make me crazy!

Star Wars Crazy!

Joslyn is a Star Wars Collector and I knew the boys would just about die to see pictures of her special room. These pix do not do any justice to the size of her collection but the boys were impressed when I showed them.

upside down girl

On our side trip to NJ on our way to Maryland I got to go to gymnastics with my sweet neice Macayla. Isn't she about the cutest thing you ever saw?

slow but sure

Today was a productive day. Praise God for His hand and grace!
The seminar we attended was good for both of us to do. Beings that Dom does not understand much about the aid laws and such. Truth be known I am learning all this as we go. It was a lot different when I went to school.
I was able to straighten out his FAFSA on line and it has officially posted on the national site so we should be good to go. I have almost all the papers I need for the final trip to financial aid in the morning. The web site would not allow me to down load their forms so I have to go in and fill them out but I have everything else already and signed. We registered for all his classes on line and were even able to reserve all his books online as well.
So, it looks like it paid off to wait a day and say a few more prayers. Dominique told me today he was very glad I decided to stay he feels much better now. (and so do I)
Quick trip to the financial aid office in the morning a trip to open his account then off to the airport. My flight is at 440 pm. I have plenty of time to get everything done.
Thank you ALL for loving us through this and for continueing to pray for my boy.
(SSSSHHHHH I think tomorrow I may need a few extra prayers when I have to leave him.)
I wrote this today before we set out for our journey....
I am not perfect.
I bend and sway in the wind.
I go through trials. and temptations. and sometimes my heart gets broken.
But, I do not break in the wind.
I do not walk away.
I keep getting up.
I dust myself off.
I keep turning to God.
As many times as it takes....for as long as it takes...

slow progress and a delay

Dominique did very well on his testing today! YAY!! We were able to muttle through a counseling session and the counselor we had today was great! Dominique seemed to really connect with him and liked him. he was even willing to talk things are looking up!
Then it was off to registration again...financial aid again. Only to find a hold on his registration because of our out of state address. Changed that and guess what? YUP it takes 24 hours to update the system come back tomorrow to register. So we thought on the way to the airport we would stop to register his classes. That is until we met with financial aid...only to learn that ALL of his aid went to GVC and has not been released. More calls....more prayers....online something or other...24 hours more to process. AND we have to attend a seminar. Could it be today? Oh please, oh please???? NOPE tomorrow from 2-315 or Jan. 12. NOW WHAT????
We left campus encouraged and discouraged all at the same time. I decided I can not leave Dominique here with so much undone. I called home. Then called GVC AGAIN! The called the airline and changed my flight to Thursday instead of Wednesday. Good thing I bought flight insurance!
I feel better knowing when I leave he should be all set....now, I say should be, because the way things have gone so far.....who knows what we see tomorrow!
Thanks to all of you for all your prayers.
Love to everyone.

frustrated

What a day we have had. Confusion between colleges, help from a dear friend Jodi, more confusion, misinformation, a nice professor helped us out. learned that all of Dom's core credits in gen ed classes are NOT transferable between Iowa and Maryland, also learned foreign language is a requirement here and not in Iowa. Also learned that he must take placement tests because he is transferring in from out of state. Testing is tomorrow, wont be able to do anything until then. Don't worry mom it will work out......is what the kind professor said....cry is what I wanted to do. As a mom I need him to be settled BEFORE I get on my plane. I don't want to leave until I know he is set. After leaving the college we tried to find the new doctor who will be managing his asthma from here. Guess what? No office can be found, we searched and searched found the correct building and suite, the walls were clearly marked with where to go but there was no suite by the number on that floor. POOF the doctor disappeared. So, we went to the mall for coffee and a fruit smoothie and came back to Joslyn's house. I just put chicken enchiladas in the oven for dinner, Dominique's favorite and specially requested before I leave.
In the morning we will head back to campus fr testing and some MAJOR begging in the business office for help getting him situated before Wed. Then it is off to hunt down this crazy doctor and open a bank account. Who knew it would be so difficult to find a bank common between Iowa and Maryland???? crazy......I am exhausted and frustrated!
Thank you to everyone for your prayers....please keep praying I have to get a break here soon!

OK friends.....I need prayer, positive thoughts and anything else you could send my way.
Yesterday was Madison's 17th birthday, I have never missed one of the kids birthdays before so have been feeling guilty about that. Isaiah has strep-throat and Scott is home and I am not another thing that has never happened, I always take care of the kids when they are sick.
Now for the big prayers, it seems there have been communication problems between the 2 colleges and us GVC did not send over all the documents the new school needs bringing our schedule to a screeching halt. cant do anything until they receive the documents and conveniently enough they do not accept fazes. NICE! So what we have decided is to go to the school and have a walk in appointment with their counseling department and pray pray pray that the counselor will take pity on our unusual situation and help us work all this out....I noly have 2 days to take care of all this before I fly back to Iowa. I am frustrated and feeling a million emotions all at once....so please, pray.

Loss, change, goodbyes....all these things are tough on a persons heart and soul. It seems I have struggled with all of these for the past 6 months especially. There are times I am not even sure how I am going to make it to the top. The pain that pulses through a heart when forced to accept change and say goodbye can be an unbearable experience. There are days I want to shout at the top of my lungs..."God, I know you have plans and a purpose for me, but PLEASE just whisper in my ear and tell me if its going to be ok and that will I make out on the other side while the sun is still shining..."
There are times I wonder if my heart is capable of beating one more time.
Questions fill my mind and keep me up at night. I know that God never allows us to carry anything too heavy..just once I'd like for Him to consult me before adding to my load or requiring me to say goodbye to people I love....
there are days when i feel I must write....if nothing else to clear my mind and try to make sense out of the craziness that has become my life. today is one of those days....writing through the process...only one thing....usually at the end I feel better....tonight? not so much...

travels thus far

After about 4 hours of sleep and packing the car to near overflowing, we said our goodbyes, leaving some sad adn in tears. Dominique and i began our journey east. I drove....he slept. the weather was wonderful. overcast so I wasnt driving into the sun. no precipitation to speak of the entire trip. I drove from Runnells to Pittsburg....Dom drove from Pittsburg to my sisters house in NJ. We decided to detour for a coupe reasons we thought we were ahead of schedule, until we realized the Garmin does not change time through satalite when you cross the time zone. and Joslyn was expecting us to stop for the night and not arrive until friday. so one call to nj and we were off. I was able to spend time with Nicole and her family and have lunch with my other mother...what a blessing to me! I missed the opportunity to meet with a dear friend....but....you cant have everything!
we arrived in Maryland last night around 8 and are off to have brunch with Nene, Derick and Mommee before Mommee heads back to nj.
will post more later....