I had a few rough years as a teen growing up in California. I made some bad choices, got into my share of trouble. Then nearing the end of high school Daddy informed me we were moving. Not down the block or across town but all the way to New Jersey. That move saved my life in so many ways.
One if not THE best thing that came out of it was meeting Joslyn and her family.
It was from Grandmom Mommee and her extended family that I learned the true meaning of adoption. They took this messed up broken and angry teenage white girl into their hearts and homes and loved me. I was treated as one of the family from the second I was introduced. I learned about grace and love in the family room of that house, I learned about forgiveness and respect. I learned unconditional love from daddy I learned Love No Matter What from Mommee. I strive daily to be the kind of woman Mommee was.
No one could say my name and stop me dead in my tracks quite like Mommee could. Even as an adult with children a few years ago Dominique and I were out visiting and I had done something Mommee did not approve of, she said my name in the way that only she could, not only did I freeze but so did every other person in the room. Adotion=love no matter what.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
what does adoption mean to you? Part 1
The "question" of the month. I have been asked this question more in the past 3 weeks than I can count. I have poured a lot of thought into this one question. I have so many different replies to this question that I have decided to write a mini series.so bare with me. :)
My very first thought ever that I can remember about adoption was when my father told us we were getting a new brother and he was coming on an airplane from far away.
Even as a small child I remember my daddy carrying the only 3 photos we had of my new brother and showing anyone who would take a moment and look. He was beautiful and I loved him right away.
I have a thousand page novel written on my heart of what adopting my baby brother Nathan means to me. I can't imagine life without him. I remember seeing photos of the orphanage and thinking when I grow up I will save all the orphan children bring them to my home and take care of them. Only then, I believed I had to go across the world to do that. I had no idea at all that there are children in our own communities who need a family just as badly as orphans half a world away.
Looking back over our life and knowing all that I know now about trauma and loss I realize Nathan is a survivor and I am so very proud of him.
I have never been brave enough to ask him what does adoption mean to him. or if he ever wonders about his birth family half way around the world. I think a part of me is afraid his answer would make me sad.
so, as a child adoption was fairytale-ish. I always had this idea that Daddy 'saved' Nathan. like some sort of hero. funny. Daddy always said Nathan was the completion of our family he made us perfectly even. I always liked that thought.
My very first thought ever that I can remember about adoption was when my father told us we were getting a new brother and he was coming on an airplane from far away.
Even as a small child I remember my daddy carrying the only 3 photos we had of my new brother and showing anyone who would take a moment and look. He was beautiful and I loved him right away.
I have a thousand page novel written on my heart of what adopting my baby brother Nathan means to me. I can't imagine life without him. I remember seeing photos of the orphanage and thinking when I grow up I will save all the orphan children bring them to my home and take care of them. Only then, I believed I had to go across the world to do that. I had no idea at all that there are children in our own communities who need a family just as badly as orphans half a world away.
Looking back over our life and knowing all that I know now about trauma and loss I realize Nathan is a survivor and I am so very proud of him.
I have never been brave enough to ask him what does adoption mean to him. or if he ever wonders about his birth family half way around the world. I think a part of me is afraid his answer would make me sad.
so, as a child adoption was fairytale-ish. I always had this idea that Daddy 'saved' Nathan. like some sort of hero. funny. Daddy always said Nathan was the completion of our family he made us perfectly even. I always liked that thought.
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