Happy birthday #9 Amaris

Today we celebrated Amaris. We began the day with singing all morning before school. Of course birthday treats had to go to school with the happy birthday princess. After dinner tonight we gave her presents and then she received 2 very special phone calls. One from big brother to wish her birthday greetings and the other from Madison who some how convinced her staff that even though she is in trouble and on serious restriction a birthday is worthy of bending the rules.
Judging for the fact that Amaris has been quietly seriously and happily playing for the better side of 2 hours with her new Polly Pockets....I would have to say she is a happy birthday princess for sure!!
sadly....my camera battery died and so....no photos today. :0( but ssshhhh when Mother falls asleep, I am sneaking in her room and swiping her memory card so I can steal her birthday photos! (wink wink!!)

Now and Then...

June 15, 2003~ the day God delivered Samuel and Amaris into our hearts and home....now 6 years later they are turning 7 and 9 and have grown so much!!

Samuel Isaac turns 7

Today we celebrate our Sam as he turns 7...seven!!! I can't even believe he is already 7 years old. Samuel came into our hearts and home when he was 7 months old. He was such a tiny little guy then, he is still a bit on the small side for his age but full of vim and vigor as my Gramma would say. Sam has brought many joys into my heart and I am proud to have been chosen to be his forever mom! Happy Birthday Sammy Boy!! I love you!!

birthdays times 3

Last night we had the big birthday party for Amaris, who urns 9 on Monday, Sam, who is 7 today, and Zephan who turned 2 last week. As long as they are still young we can get away with combined parties. Also they have to wait until their 10th birthday to have a 'friend' party. It was nice to have Aaron's girlfriend and her little brother join us. She is a very nice young lady. This year I decided on ice cream sundaes and cupcakes. Amaris had chocolate with pink icing, Sam had white with blue icing, and Zephan had white with orange icing. Then Isaiah and I decorated the cupcakes with nerds, lifesaver and m&ms. they were yummy!!

































Every birthday and holiday that rolls around I hope and pray that this will be the one where everyone is happy and enjoys each others company. It causes me great sadness to know that my children do not have close relationships with their extended family. I don't know what happened to me last night, but when the guests had gone I just dissolved in a mess of tears. I guess I grieve the relationships that should be but aren't. The relationships that would be if....if I could finish that sentence then this post would be very different. When I was growing up the high light of every week was spending weekends with cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Sunday dinners at Grammas....this was how I wanted it to be for my children. It breaks my heart that those precious memories are not part of their childhood. Most days I feel I have accepted things as they are....I just don't know why I was so sad last night....and even still today...

Today is one of those days when it seems like God chose to stand a little further from me. Now, maybe He did, and maybe He didn’t. Perhaps I subconsciously chose to take a step away from Him. Or, maybe He is always the same closeness to me and I choose not to acknowledge his presence.

After all, I am a busy lady with so much to do. I do not always have time to stop and just “be” in the presence of the creator of the universe. Sad really. Am I so different than others?

All I know is I felt the difference at about 216 this morning when I woke to pain gripping every fiber of my body. Seems to be the norm lately, the pain, the sleepless nights. This night rather than get on my knees and pray and turn on my worship music to drown not only my humanness but also the sounds of sleep the erupt from the mouths of my family...no this time, in the darkness of the night, I dragged myself for a cup of hot tea and snuggled on the couch with my own thoughts. I think thats where I went wrong...I didn't invite Him to join me in my pain or praise, at all. Do you ever have moments such as this, that you just want to be. nothing more. nothing less.

As I sat there snuggled on the couch i thought about a lot of things. thoughts twirled and tumbled around in my brain and made their way to my heart. where they have settled for a time. Its been a tough day. I don't know, I guess its a culmination of many things that brings one to a place like this.

Sadly after her small success and our visit Madison has been getting into lots of trouble and was moved back down a level and has lost all privileges...again...sigh. i am sad, disappointed and yes, even angry.

forgive the way this sounds following that....but. i miss Dominique. we had a great time when he was home. and. i. just. miss. him.

taking care of mother. progress is being made. thats good. more surgery scheduled for Isaiah's birthday.

the monsters went back to school. and where most mothers are ecstatic...i am sad. i miss the motion a flow of the day when they are not home.

so many other thoughts mingled in the mix....finally around 345 i meandered back to bed. only to wake this morning with a heavy heart and a sadness, that makes no sense, surrounding me. I even pondered the calendar wondering...is there something I am missing of significance in my history that would cause this sadness to creep in around me....nothing stood out, at least not today.
thank goodness for Isaiah who helped me decorate birthday cakes....he always makes me smile...

as i sat rocking the burrito and contemplating the last 24 hours. i see that where the trouble began was at 216 am when i ignored my Father and didn't seek Him for comfort. and this verse came to mind....

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

next time I will make some hot tea and invite my Father to join me...

5 months...1 year...2 years....testamony of love!

the first picture is Dominique holding Zephan the day he arrived in our home.
the second picture is Isaiah with Zephan on his first birthday. (this was before he started pulling all his hair out. :0(
the last picture is today...his 2nd birthday! How much he has grown and changed over the past year and half. Zephan was 5 months old, failure to thrive and could only lay on his back he rarely made eye contact and didn't make many sounds when he arrived...he had some health issues and there was a tremendous amount of concern and question as to how much he could do....today, I am proud to say he has not only met his developmental goals but he has surpassed many. There are still a few concerns about him that only time will reveal. But for now, I am counting my blessings and thanking God for the Miracle of my precious Burrito!

Birthday Burrito! #2

Today was my Burrito's second birthday! I can hardly believe he is 2 already. What a miracle God has performed in this boys life! His name fits perfect! God's treasure...
Happy Birthday Burrito...I love you so much!

Today was the first day of a new school year. Last night and this morning were filled with many emotions. Excitement and nerves seemed to be the most prevalent. As tradition would have it we began this years celebration last night with Pizza and ice cream sundaes. YUM!
The kids all laid out their carefully chosen first day of school brand new outfits....(well all except Sam who some how lost his new shirt???) Of course we had to double and triple check our back packs to be absolutely sure we did not forget anything important.
Bedtime arrived and all was well....for a time anyway...soon I heard the patter of Elijah's feet coming up the steps from the basement. Sniffling all the way....while lying in bed contemplating the coming days events he decided (at 1030pm) that he had in fact chosen the wrong back pack and was absolutely sure all the boys in his class would tease him for sure! Finally I convinced him that he chose that one because he liked dark purple and black and to tell anyone who might not like it that they are Vikings colors....soon he settled down prayed again and was off to bed.
This morning arrived and I woke each of them with a picture of their first sight of the day. (heehee)
Every year on the first day of school ever since Dominique started Kindergarten I have allowed the children to choose WHATEVER they want for breakfast no rules apply on the first day...Dom without fail every year including last year his freshman year of college picked pizza and some sort of grape beverage. Madison always picked random things.
This year, Samuel picked waffles and milk, Amaris picked PBJ waffles and juice box, Lij picked a ham and cheese omelet with a chocolate milk shake and Isaiah picked brownie pie and a chocolate milk shake.
Last night Amaris wanted her hair put in rollers for a new curly do. It really turned out cute!
After paraying and photographs we were off to school. More tears from Lij. Change is more difficult for some than others. Sam and Amaris could not wait to get to school and would not hear of standing anywhere close to me or even saying good bye...
Lij?? on the other hand tried to come home with me and then tried to get me to stay with him...
When they arrived home after school Lij had the biggest smile on his face!! WHEW!!!
What a relief!
Isaiah will officially begin his school year on Wednesday! ;0)
ooops I realized after posting this that I neglected to upload Isaiah and Amaris and their breakfast....so now my photos are out of order. :0(