Last night we had the big birthday party for Amaris, who urns 9 on Monday, Sam, who is 7 today, and Zephan who turned 2 last week. As long as they are still young we can get away with combined parties. Also they have to wait until their 10th birthday to have a 'friend' party. It was nice to have Aaron's girlfriend and her little brother join us. She is a very nice young lady. This year I decided on ice cream sundaes and cupcakes. Amaris had chocolate with pink icing, Sam had white with blue icing, and Zephan had white with orange icing. Then Isaiah and I decorated the cupcakes with nerds, lifesaver and m&ms. they were yummy!!
Every birthday and holiday that rolls around I hope and pray that this will be the one where everyone is happy and enjoys each others company. It causes me great sadness to know that my children do not have close relationships with their extended family. I don't know what happened to me last night, but when the guests had gone I just dissolved in a mess of tears. I guess I grieve the relationships that should be but aren't. The relationships that would be if....if I could finish that sentence then this post would be very different. When I was growing up the high light of every week was spending weekends with cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Sunday dinners at Grammas....this was how I wanted it to be for my children. It breaks my heart that those precious memories are not part of their childhood. Most days I feel I have accepted things as they are....I just don't know why I was so sad last night....and even still today...
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