Losing my mind

It is official. I am losing my mind.
Summer school is not getting off the to the start I had in my mind. I guess I thought the kids loved each other enough to be able to handle working in teams and making the projects fun. I have one team who absolutely can not get along to save any one's life! The other team is doing better today, now that I got the smarty-pants know-it-all attitude in check.
The there is the fact that Dominique is in VA with some friends and I am missing him and jealous. I did talk to him this morning and he is having a blast! It is raining there today so they have to change the plans they had for today. I am anxious for him to come home. I don't like it when my family is not all together. I know, I should get used to it because he will graduate next year....that is a whole other can of worms I would rather keep covered for now thank you very much!
I have gotten back to my walking, we have decided the earlier we walk the better because it has been getting rather humid out in the afternoon. I still have yet to see any positive results from all this walking. A friend told me today at least I am exercising my heart...well I think I'd rather see some action in the old southern hemisphere...at least then I'd feel like all the sweat is paying off in some way!
This has been a tough week for me, the anniversary of my dad's death is always a hard time for me, who ever said time heals all things must not have ever lost their DAD. There are certain seasons of my life when I feel it more deeply, like when I had my babies and he wasn't there to hold them. And times like now, when we are going through so much with Isaiah. I know you are not supposed to question God and His plans, but I often wonder about His timing in taking my dad.
I have said a million times I am terrible at the waiting game. We are in the waiting game for Isaiah's doctors to call us with a plan, I am seriously going to lose my mind waiting. I have gone over every possible situation. I keep thinking, we need money to pay for all this, we need child care for who knows how long, we need to remember to pack pillows and cushions for Isaiah this time, we need so many things, but I can't plan any of them until we have the plan....I feel like I am on the verge of tears all the time, I have to hold it together for the kids and it is getting more and more difficult not knowing what we are going to do. At least if I knew, then my imagination could stop...
God is in control I know, but a mother's heart sometimes has a hard time remembering that...
Pray that I will remember that daily as we wait.