for the ladies only....warning if you are male do not read this post!

My turn to rant...
After 4 different shopping trips 3 with kids 1 without I finally found a dress for my brother Nathan's wedding. Only to realize after I bought it (at a very great price I might add!!) that I need a different bra. Are you seriously telling me I now have to go bra shopping???? I hate shopping anyway but for this??? UGH!!!!
After I got my hair cut this morning I decided to swing by JC Penny and pick up the stupid bra and be on my way. Sounds simple right??? Well, let me just tell you it could not have been a more complicated, infuriating, horrifying, awful experience. I first tried on 3 in Penny's, no luck. Went down to Younkers no luck, stopped into Sears, non there either. Now you must understand it is not because they do not HAVE strapless bras....its that strapless bras are stupid and I do believe after today made for the perky little boobs of young ladies OR those who have had them surgically altered....not for the likes of ME!
I came home half deciding to return the dress and start all over. Changed my mind and ran out to Merle Hay Mall. Kohls first. Nothing. Younkers. After finally figuring out that the "intimate apparel" is on the basement level. (I now believe the department is strategically placed so people like me wont scare away their good customers!) I begin the torturous feat of picking and trying on these hideous traps that fashion designers like to call a bra...
HRUMPH!!!!
Most days I am totally at peace with my roundish figure. Realizing that although I would benefit from a trip to the gym or a run or some rabbit food. truthfully, I just do not have the energy left over to figure all that out and basically I am happy...that is until the dressing room wars begin....
First of all....why why WHY do they keep dressing rooms so stinking HOT???? Lets face it ladies we are already miserable being in there but to have to work up a sweat just standing how are we expected to wriggle into some half spandex half who knows what contraption they call a bra????
secondly....I will never understand the purpose of the kind of strapless bra that is like a sock. Not only is it weird but provides zero support...Like I really want everyone at the wedding to know that I have granny boobs! Who would even waste their money on such a thing?
Do you have any idea how many styles there are to chose from?? the sock, the tube, the push-up strapless, the bustier, the slip/goodness only knows what....there are some I would not even be able to describe!
After hopping and squeezing and shoving and sweating and crying and pouting and kicking and nearly rolling down the hall, finally I found one. I almost did a little happy dance except for a couple things...one I am not really happy cuz I hate shopping and I have decided for real...I hate boobs. I think we should be created with a feature that makes them disappear when their usefulness runs out...had kids...nursed...done BYE-BYE! But since we were not created with such amazing features. I trudged all sweaty grouchy and dis-sheveled to the cashier. Who was a bit too chipper for my grumpy self...$67....what??? WHAT??? did you say sixty-seven dollars??? In American money??? are you flipping kidding me??? I would have been far better off taking the original stupid dress back and started over completely...
Bra shopping is not for the faint of heart...nor is it for those living on a budget! end rant...thank you very much I feel oh so much better!