As if I needed one more thing!

picture this....7pm Tuesday nght.
you go down to the laundry room in the basement and find...
A smell
A horrible smell, like burning hair or something equally awful.
what in the world could it be? no smoke...good! no fire...good.
where is it coming from...
turn off the furnace....just in case...cuz blowing up the house on the eve of the eve of thanksgiving is not on my list of things I'd like to do...
what ever possessed me to open the basement bathroom door is beyonde me. but I did. what I found was horrible. gross. discusting. and whew! not poop. thank goodness for THAT! (the no poop part)
Did I say...
Sludge, black, slimmy, sticky, smelly, nasty sludge. everywhere.
where did it come from? is there more, cuz if so, I am out of here!
Investigation ensues. clean up to follow.
Note! read instructions completely before using professional drain cleaner. it is never good to use it first and then as an after thought read. "cover drain with a screen after adding cleaner as explosion may occur in the drain." WHAT!!!!?????
Talk about Duck and cover.
whew! thank goodness said explosion never happened. But let me tell you I was SCARED!!! Who wants that nasty sludge dripping off their head? NOT ME!
2 hours later....
smells more like an indoor pool. Thank the good Lord for the person who invented bleach!
Now for the test...
run upstairs turn on the dishwasher.
STOP!!!!!!! bubbles arising. EEEWWWWW
bail out the gunk-dump it in the toilet-flush
test two. run upstairs turn on the garbage disposal and water.
STOP!!!!!! more bubbles more rising. more bailing, dumping and flushing. EEEWWW!
test 3. other side of sink. same result.
GREAT. can't use the kitchen. Call Philip....yay! he is coming home for Thanksgiving and will look at it as soon as he gets into town.
shower...cuz that was just discusting!
fast forward to the morning....
wash dishes from last night and today in the bathtub...not fun!
3:15 Philip arrives and I begin to fervently pray the God in Heaven will direct his genius and help him fix my plumbing so I can make thanksgiving dinner....he is down stairs as I type working working working! While I sit up here. PRAYING!