What would you do?

What would you do?
If you had a child who when she was small had severe behavior problems, so severe even the school cried out for help?
If you took that child to doctor after doctor to find out what caused these behaviors and found no explainable cause?
What would you do?
If even on medication that childs behaviors escalated far out of anyone's control?
What would you do?
If after YEARS of dealing with this doctor and that, this medication and the other one, behavior modification programs, weekly counseling, seeming to be in an emergency mode 24 hours a day, you STILL have no answers.
tantrums with no end. violence. self injury. threatening and hurting sibilngs. stealing. running away. hiding from teachers at school.
what would you do?
if the child is hospitalized for the first time the first week of summer following 4th grade?
At the end of this hospitalization you learn the child is not only ADHD but also bipolar.
What would you do???
would you educate yourself? Would you search the world over for treatment and hope?
that is what I did....I did not blame, or point fingers, or accuse, or create horrible stories to justify the situation.
I took classes. I searched and found books and seminars and more classes. We begged for professionals to come into our home to teach us ways to cope. for YEARS I drove every Wednesday 40 minutes one way to counseling. Searching for the right answers. A treatment plan that would bring peace to this child.
What would you do?
If the search lead to dead end after dead end and rather than get better through all the treatment, medications, interventions, spiritual guidance, classes and education and peace never arrived.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO???
When the school is at a loss and throws their hands up in the air in desperation. and your child is hospitalized again. now for the first of many suicide attempts.
What would you do?
Follow the treatment plan set forth by the newest doctors on board? Thats what we did. day treatment followed by homeschooling. new meds more counseling. new emergencies, new behaviors, more meltdowns in a 24 hour period than we could record.
What would you do?
If this child reports to a PROFESSIONAL they have been abused? Would you follow the recommendations of the professionals?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO???
THe new plan after the 4th hospitalization is to return the child to school. More interventions. more counseling. different meds.
Now the child is a teenager. She is dressing crazy. lying. trying to run away. she begins cutting. another suicide attempt.
What would you do?
If a youth leader from your childs youth group brings your child to you one Wednesday evening and informs you that your child has been raped and YOU need to do something about it because your child may be pregnant and is afraid.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?????
I cried. and together we as a trio called her counselor. and trudged through the horrific steps that are required of such a serious allegation.
We cried. A LOT. We loved our child. Stood by her. Supported her. and watched as she slid further and further away into a world of self destruction. We desperately tried to reach her. We took more classes. Saught out legal counsel, spiritual guidance, mental health support, we found ourselves swirling in a hurricain of turmoil and pain.
What would you do?
If your child was cutting herself so badly and so often that you were afraid to leave her alone? We slept on her bedroom floor, and sometimes we didnt sleep at all just sat watching as she slept. and real;ized that even in her sleep she was unable to find peace. tossing and turning and crying out in fear from nightmares. Nightmares plagued her waking and sleeping hours. No wonder this child was a mess.
What would you do?
We found a treatment facility out of state who specialized in treating young ladies just like our daughter. We drove hours. We signed papers. We watched the admitting process. We were at least relieved that all drug tests were negative. And she was not pregnant. We walked away. We cried.
What would you do?
IF your child is FINALLY making amazing progress. You are finally able for the first time in YEARS to see the beauty of her soul blossom. And then the call comes. The facility is closing, your child is not quite ready to graduate. Not quite ready for the world. But she has turned 18 while she was away, healing.
We brought her home. We were scared. ALmost right away we saw the old behaviors and dangerous coping skills return.
We found a new program. We believed in this program. It was PERFECT!!
She would have support. Counseling. Job training. complete her high school education. Learn daily living skills money management. Eventuall as she moved up in the program she would even be set up in an apartment with semi supervision and support to chase her dreams of studying cosmotology.
We had found HOPE.
What would you do?
If after all the healing you had witnessed. Suddenly your child regresses. She begins to rebel. AGAIN.
Then following another suicide attempt and hospitalization. She runs away.
What would you do?
We desperately searched a city for her. We cried. We did not sleep. We could not eat.
To save her to find her peace to keep her safe we had her committed. She was an adult. We sat in the mental health court. a cold stale unfriendly place to be. the 2 of us accompanied by her counselor. We pleaded for the courts intervention.
What would you do?
If your child claimed severe drug addiction and abuse. Yet no screen ever came up possitive.
Your child claimed pregnancy time after time with no baby.
Your child told stories of abuse that would make the toughest of all people cringe and cry....
We listened. We supported. We loved. unconditionally. That part we have down patt by now. Love her no matter what.
What wouldyou do?
If your child rejected all your help. all you had ever done and walked away.
We cried. We let. her. go.
What would you do?
If your child came back. filled with remorse and stories of more abuse?
We took her in. Gave her rules. Drove her to doctors and counseling 2 times a week. drove her EVERY DAY 40 minutes one way to school so she could complete her GED. We loved her still.
What would you do?
If your child found a new boy, ran away again and rejected all the plans and help your had for her?
We cried. We let her go. We hoped and prayed she would return.
What would you do?
If your child went door to door begging for work money and help from every person who lived in your town, telling them you had kicked her out? We told the truth and apologized. over and over and over.
What would you do?
If your child kept running? from man to man. place to place.
we cry. we pray. we love her.
What would you do?
If that child ran into the home and arms of the very people she had repeatedly told PROFESSIONAL over the years had hurt her?
We did nothing.
We let her go.
What would you do?
if this was your life with your child.....
I wish we would have had the love and support of family through the years.
I wish we would have been able to find peace for our child.
I wish we would have found the one book, class, medication, the ONE SOMETHING that would have worked.
Today. that child lives somewhere away from here. she has finally completed her GED. For that we are grateful and PROUD.
What would you do?
Would you have failed your child as we did?