family adventure

we had a lovely day at the Reiman Gardens in Ames. For the most part the kiddos all had a great time. They all seemed to enjoy the many varieties of butterflies and plants and the scavenger hunt to find all the Lego sculptures hidden in the gardens was a lot of fun.
Honestly, I only have 3 complaints....1. I was sweating. and I hate being HOT! 2. Burrito picked a pepper in the DO NOT PICK the vegetables please Garden!!! and yes I am the parent who strategically placed the picked pepper back under the plant to pretend the picking had not occurred. sorry. 3. Sam was in one of his moods. not just slightly. deeply rooted would not smile no matter what all day long mood. I hate those days.
So as we were leaving the gardens we were all mostly pleased a little tired from the heat and some were very hungry. We loaded up the van and began to discuss our eating options. I suggested we find a sandwich shop buy sandwiches chips and drinks then find a fun park to picnic at....I even got out my handy new phone and found several park options close by. Scott had other ideas in mind and I could tell his was the only option seriously on the table. Lets go to Hickory Park. technically its a park. (nice try Scott) I reminded him of what an experience in a restaurant with Burrito would be like and added that Baby J is big enough now to go either way, he could be really good and love it or.....and then there is the problem of Spuds who at nearly 7 months old still cant sit up so someone (me) will have to hold him the entire time. seeing that my plea was falling on deaf ears. I put the address into the garmin and we were on the way.
only one thought ran through my mind the entire 2.5 mile drive to Hickory Park....please let this be a pleasant experience.
HA!
It all started on a good note. each child filed nicely into the huge booth finding the menu and actually being kind to each other. Sam still has yet to smile or positively interact with anyone but at least he was looking and not being mean. Burrito sat nicely for the first 10 minutes. TEN! that is a record!!
Then it started. Burrito is slow to make a decision. he wanted to color but didn't want anyone else but Elijah to color. the lady only brought ONE jar of crayons with only 3 color options. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING???? after an ear piercing scream from the Burrito he quickly disappeared under the table. We chose to ignore him. eventually he came out. and everyone had chosen what they wanted to eat.
Our waitress returned. We started clockwise and everyone was nicely placing their orders until Burrito realized he was not first. he MUST always be first. ALWAYS. And when he realized there are no do-overs in restaurants with waitress who only bring one jar of crayons to a table with 7 children he began to scream and back under the table he went. I placed his order and off she went.
Baby J was getting cranky from no nap being in the heat and confined to a high chair when clearly he wanted OUT.
I had ordered Baby J some food to come with Scott's appetizer and the drinks. When they arrived, Baby J was less interested in his food and more interested in the little dishes of various sauces that came with Scott's onion rings and cheese balls. so now, I am juggling a wiggly Spuds who does not want to sit still trying to keep Burrito at the table not under, and now I am trying to keep Baby J's chubby little fingers out of the sauces!!
Finally food arrives. Burrito chucks the mason jar of crayons across the long table because he did not order his FOOD! then he retreats under the table. Just as he realizes he has a possible escape route I place my foot in the way to block him he BIT MY ANKLE! I bit my lip trying not to yelp! lean under the table while still holding Spuds to sternly whisper to my Burrito that he needs to get back up to the table and eat his lunch. he has his angry face on and growls GO AWAY. I wisely choose to leave him alone. Baby J now has each hand immersed in 2 different sauces, one hand is covered in ranch the other in honey mustard. I am juggling Spuds and cleaning up Baby J's little fingers when I feel something wet and slimy slide across my chest followed by glops of something wet and chunks falling down my shirt and landing in my bra....YEP Spuds had taken his opportunity to grab the top half of my chicken salad sandwich and smear it across my chest. So I lean back in my chair and I think...KEEP YOUR COOL. do NOT be one of those ugly moms who yells at their children in public. I proceed to finish cleaning up the sauces of of Mr. Grabby Chubby Fingers, then go to work and peeling the toasted wheat bread caked with chicken salad off my chest. when I mostly clean I looked at Scott who was diligently trying to keep his BBQ sauce under control as I see it dripping off his wrist and realize he could not have been any help anyway. I chuckle a little under my breath and realize I am completely helpless. I looked at Scott and informed him that some of the chicken salad will have to remain where it landed until I am in a more private location to clean it up. He laughs.
While all of this chaos is happening the other children are busy chatting and eating and Sam is sinking deeper and deeper into his mood and has moved from just being miserable to being miserable and a PAIN to the rest of the kiddos.
Then a brilliant idea occurs to me. Since my favorite sandwich turned into a finger painting project (besides the fact that the chef put HARD BOILED EGGS in the chicken salad. GROSS!! Who does that??) I didn't get to eat. So I look Scott DIRECTLY in the eyes and announce "I want you to order EVERYONE ice cream!" The look of horror in that mans face was priceless. We have rules! no dessert in restaurants. I could see it on Scott's face. We don't eat in restaurants was screaming in my head. I looked at him and said I am very serious! then I hear a small voice from the end of the table its Elijah....great the ONE time we get dessert I am too full from eating all my food to enjoy it! Sorry buddy this mama is getting ice cream! and yes. Burrito, even you who threw a mason jar at your sister, hid under the table numerous times, bit my ankle and did not eat even one bite of your food, even you get to have super hero ice cream. because that is the kind of mom I am! that and I surrendered to the day, realized it was out of my control before I arrived and decided I may as well enjoy the good parts. So. Ice cream for everyone!
then i leaned across the table and whispered to my husband....I hope you have this out of your system because this restaurant thing is never happening again.....