I am not sure when it happened that I became more keenly aware of random people around me. I am not sure I remember the day it changed. But it did. I know it did because I can no longer venture out into the world of errands, grocery shopping and such without being wrecked completely wrecked for the rest of the day simply by the sight of a fellow human being who appears to be less fortunate than I. I am not saying I am the fortunate soul nor am I claiming to be better than anyone. Its more of a self revelation. Take today for example:
I am standing in the check out line at the local Wal Mart. Suddenly this HORRIFIC smell blasts me in the face. So horrific that I begin to look around to find the source of it and try to remedy it in some way. What I found was a most pitiful sight. I do NOT mean this in a mean kind of way. I mean this in a heartbreaking wreck your soul for the day kind of way. I see shuffling down the aisle past me an elderly woman, completely covered in filth. No evidence of a recent bath, no evidence of a comb or brush coming near her head.clothing layered too thick and a few sizes too large. I saw the looks of horror and disbelief on the faces of others walking by and realized i must look the same. in that moment i felt regret for my reaction. Then it was my turn in line and the cashier apologizes....APOLOGIZES...for the presence of this woman. Really? She went on to explain that for 5 years at least this woman comes in to buy food for her cats. that this woman is "not quite right" that no one wants to wait on her because her smell lingers for EVER after she has gone. Then she told me that once a cashier followed this poor woman home to try and offer help. She has no one. A daughter who lives far away and wants nothing to do with her....she is an old lonely soul who obviously can not care for herself. Clothing saturated in urine belonging to both herself and the cats. No ability to even recognize the condition of her existence is poor at best. I have thought of this woman ALL DAY! I am sad for her. Sad that she is unable to care for herself or even see that she is in need of being cared FOR. I am sad that she is all alone in this world and sad that people shudder and turn away in disgust when they see her. I am disappointed in myself for merely watching. observing and not acting. What I could have done I do not know. How I could of made a difference will never be seen because all I did was stand frozen in the moment watching. I have prayed for her, for God to send an angel in human clothing to come along side her and take care of her.