IF you took the time to know me, to really know my heart, you would find a woman who loves completely and dedicates her life to making a difference in the lives of children. You would find a woman who loves life and feels life intensely. You would find a woman who loves God with all her heart and loves ALL of her children too. If you only took the time to know me you just might like the woman you meet.
It saddens me deeply that after 15 years you have never taken the time to look, never taken the time to see, never taken the time to love me or allow me to love you back. Do you know the loss and voids you have created? Do you realize what you have missed out on?
I have 7 of the MOST AMAZING children on earth and you have missed out on their childhoods. They don't know you. The memories I always dreamed my children would have of an close loving family filled with cousins aunts uncles and grandparents are never to be realized. My children are amazing creatures and I am so very proud of them. I often ponder reasons why you would step out of our lives. I have asked why and asked for forgiveness of any offense I may have caused. The answer is always the same. I can not make this right, I can not buy back the time my children have lost with their family. I am saddened by the loss. Saddened that as they grow older they feel the same unwelcome feeling when we are all together that I have felt for years. I am saddened that they say to me "I wish I knew ____ better. It sure would be a lot more fun!" I wish I had answers to their many questions of why we are never included in family outings BBQ's and events.
I am thankful that my family opened their arms wide and have welcomed each addition as if they were meant to be in our family (and each one IS meant to be!) I am thankful for friends, old and new, who love my children as if they belong to them. I have realized over the years that family is not so much blood bonds but more heart bonds. I am thankful for those. I am blessed by Mothers who are not really my mother, sisters who are not my sister, fathers who stand in the gap of where my Daddy should be, grandparents aunts and uncles who will always love on my children no matter what.
If only you'd have taken the time.....I think you just might think my family is pretty amazing. Others have taken the time and they agree!