forgiveness...

Can forgiveness really come out of heart break? Can forgiveness really be born through tears? There are times in everyone's lives when forgiveness is required, where we are at the time determines our ability to truly forgive. Sometimes forgiveness comes swiftly and rests our soul. Sometimes time mends the pain in our hearts and forgiveness arrives gradually. Other times it takes a life time. You realize you have held onto a lifetime of pain in the corners of your heart. Never having it in the forefront of your being, never acknowledging its constant existence until one day you wake up and realize that part of your soul has been starving for a lifetime. Only to realize the only way to feed your soul is to let go of the pain and forgive. I am not naive enough to believe that we arrive instantly at the sea of forgetfulness. But a peaceful healing begins to fill your senses as you see the pain for what it is, and begin to let it go. Allowing God to take it away from you, removing the disease of unforgiving allowing you to grow new branches. There are times in life when you don't even realize you are still hanging onto pain, you wake up one day and say to yourself, "I thought that was over years ago." only to realize it has been hiding secretly in the deepest corner of who you are. In some ways coloring your actions, attitudes, and words over the years, becoming such a part of who you are that you aren't even sure of who you could have been. Some hurts are so deep that it takes a lifetime to overcome. The most difficult to accomplish is forgiveness of self. We are hardest on ourselves, not allowing ourselves the healing process and the joy that enters in when the job is done. God is working on my heart...I have learned through my fasting and prayer lately, I deserve my own forgiveness. When I allow myself the joy of walking the shores of the sea of forgetfulness then true growth will come. In my spirit, in my heart, in my soul. Healing has taken place and joy has come to stay. Because I have forgiven me...