I am sitting here listening to the clock ticking minutes away. Each tick seems a bit louder than the one before. It is in these hours of the night/morning when I can not sleep that the waves of deep sadness become greater than waves and begin to toss me about. An aching that fills every corner of my being swells in fits and rages. Making me feel nauseous and lightheaded.
In my head I know this is crazy, in my heart I feel like I am in mourning. So many thoughts and feelings and emotions swirling. I was hoping that writing tonight might make them quiet and allow me to rest. But the problem is that I can't bring myself to write about the storm. I am tired. and want to rest. from the storm. I had a revelation today....this storm will be here for the rest of my life. Some days are more overwhelming than others. Today happens to be really bad.
I pray I feel better in the morning.