something to ponder....

Word on the street is that one of our bio-mothers is expecting again. ugh. seriously? this pushes us to the brink of self reflection and family meetings. What to do...What to DO??
If this proves to be truth and not some rumor or attention seeking ploy we will most definitely have some talking to do. It seems odd to me that as soon as we make statements such as : we would do what ever it takes to keep siblings together.....we are promptly put to the test to see exactly how far we would go. For instance....Saturday has older siblings who are currently in need of a forever family. Would we take them in? Sassy Pants has 2 siblings already adopted into families. But what if...exactly how far are we willing to go? The answer in my heart is simplisticly complex. What I mean by that is it makes perfect simple sense to me but to the world outside of me may never understand.
I get questions and comments al the time: don't you think you have ENOUGH children? EXACTLY HOW MANY DO YOU THINK YOU WILL TAKE?? and my favorite statement (not really) you know Angela You can't save them ALL.
Each of us were placed here on earth for a purpose. During this season of my life my purpose is THIS. to be a mother to the children who waltz through my door. Some may come and go quickly, some may come ,stay for a time and leave to various places, some may come and stay forever. I rarely know when or for how long but I always know there will be more. You see it is this simple...God called me to this journey. He created me to dance this dance of healing hearts and lives. He asked me to sacrifice in order to be used by Him to help save these lives. It is what I am created to do. Would you ask a painter why he paints so many tapestries? Would you ask a plumber why she fixes toilets? Each of us is called to do different things in life. some are called to build, fix, or mend things. Some are called to be doctors and lawyers. Some are called to teach. I am called to love. unconditionally. So I humbly try, to answer His calling. I try to be obedient to His voice. Do I always answer? no. I have an argumentative spirit at times. And yes I argue, bargain and whine....Am I always cheerful? no. sadly I am not. because quite frankly, I am not always a cheerful participant of HIS plan. I know....I KNOW!!! Shame on me. I am a work in progress and have lots of progress left to make!
So, I suppose if and when that call comes, I am sure we will pray as we always do. I am sure we will seek His direction and guidance. And even if it is difficult, even if it is hard to be cheerful, even if it scares the living daylights out of us. I know we will be obedient to His calling and His guidance and HIS voice. One thing I have learned along the way is that arguing and not following His voice and not living in His will is a painful place to be with consequences I am not prepared to deal with.
please remember though. When you see a family like mine. When you see a momma who has a rainbow of children. And at times you see her face has the wear of time and fragmented patience....remember it is not always easy following God's plan. So don't judge. Offer help. A smile. Some encouragement goes a long way.
Speaking for my own heart...I know I am living out the love God planned for me in this season of my life. I know what it is like to miss His first plan and live out His back up plan and I choose not to go back to that kind of living. Just because I am not always sunshine and smiles does not mean I have regret or wish I made easier choices. It means sometimes right choices are not easy choices. Sometimes following God's plan is a hard difficult journey that takes years to see and hold the sunshine and smiles. Sometimes we all need unconditional love along our journey. If you happen to see me with another new child. Stop, give me a hug or ask me how its going. Remind me that you love me and so does God and THAT is why He has called me to live this out every day. He asked me because He loves me.
In the mean time I am going to continue to love these 10 treasures He has trusted me with to the best of my ability even when it is hard. Love No Matter What....