June 30
I made it through the month of June.
Another Father's Day another death day another birthday have come and gone. It is always interesting to me how depending on the season I am living in my life determines the depth of grief I experience.
Days have come and gone. Reflecting, mourning all over again. Some days took me by surprise and some took me to the deepest sadness imagined. But today arrived and I realized something. I know June is hard by the last day of May every year I am preparing my heart and mind for the coming days and not matter how much preparation I pour in it always takes me by surprise.
This year was no different. Random days of no memorial significance at all brought me to tears. Yet his death date was not as hard. Father's Day and his birthday both kept me on my knees with grief.
In reflection I am so grateful for the life lessons he taught me. In listening to old friends recall our teen years and the impact he had on their lives. Watching dominique become a man, filled with love and compassion for the world, watching Isaiah and his amazing love and patience with his siblings and witnessing Elijah go off to El Salvador touch lives and come home heart broken for the children....all these bring joy to my heart, these boys are the living legacy of my daddy.
I am reminded of an uncles hatefilled words of 30 some years ago and today I smile in knowing how very wrong he proved to be. Those words ring through my memory as if they were just spewed a few moments ago.
Future generations have been blessed not cursed, my fathers grand children and great grand children will rise and be world changers. They will leave their grandfathers fingerprints and heart beat behind them in every thing they do. My daddy lived love out loud, I am proud to pass his loving legacy on.
So today at the end of my least favorite month of the year I am choosing to reflect and hold onto the truth, unconditional love deeply rich heritage he so lovingly gifted to me and his future generations.
I love you daddy. It is my greatest joy to honor you
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