who would of thought...

After I got all the kiddos loaded onto the school bus we headed in to the eye doctor for Isaiah's first ever eye exam by a real doc. We have always doen the school deal but never a real eye doc. I thought it might be a good idea since he is heading to school this year instead of home-school. I took Brayden (who was awesom while waiting) and Burrito (who was not so awesome) along with us. Isaiah did fantastic all by himself. I was impressed at his ease in going in with the doc alone and handleing the situation. Anyone who knows him knows he is not comfortable in situations that require him to talk ;0)
Exam complete the doc comes out and explains that Isaiah needs glasses. Not really an option not on the boarder and could get by without but NEEDS them. sigh...
After the doc walked into the other room I explained to Isaiah what they found in his exam and told him to start looking at frames. It was at this moment that I saw the tears welling up in his brown eyes, his lips begin to quiver and his cheeks slowly turn from rosey pink to fire engine red. He sadi not one word but obediently tried on 2 pairs of glasses, put them back, looked at me and put his head down toward the floor. I asked if he needed to get himself together in the bathroom. He nodded and disappeared. After 10 minutes he returned not looking much better. Stood there 45 seconds and began to cry. turned and went back to the bathroom. This is not going well at all. This time when he returned I just told him we would wait a couple days then come back to chose a pair of glasses.
On the way to lunch from the doc I tried to talk with him about why he was so upset. All he said was he was not hungry. I ordered food anyway, he picked at it. Just sat and said nothing the entire time we were there.
Finally on the way home from there he said he already feels like he looks different from everyone else he doesn't want glasses too. He thinks they all look stupid on him. I was shocked! After all this child has been through. After all the hospitals ~all the surgery~ all the physical therapy ~all the needles ~all the missed activities ~school ~losing his friends....after all of that with NO COMPLAINING NO TEARS NO BAD ATTITUDES. Its glasses that push him over the edge?? Glasses that reduce him to tears?? My heart broke as I watched him trying to explain and trying to hold back the tears. I know glasses seem like such a small thing to us but to a child who has been through as much as he has. To a child who is already so very different from all of his peers. It seems the worst possible thing in the world. So I cried with him and decided not to talk about it anymore for now...