A sad day

Today was a sad day....before I explain that lets walk backwards in time.
Beginning with a question I have been pondering what makes some people crumble under the weight of tough times and other people are able to stand up and come out stronger than before. I dont understand the whole half empty view on life...that said...
My Aunt Bean (that has been her name my entire life and for many years before I entered the world) has always been that kind of person. I lov her but life has always been for her a half empty existance. Any bad thing that ever happened to her became the definition of who she was. Sad really. Over the years I ahve tried to talk to her about attitude and learning life lessons but she always leaned more to the negative side of life. Don't misunderstand me...I love her. I have many happy memeories with her...riding in her pizza hut delivery truck, going to the lake or beach, going down to the train yard and watching the trains, riding bikes....the list could go on...
A few years ago she became the LUCKY recipient of a new liver. What an incredible gift giving her a second chance at life and happiness and health. Reflecting today I am not so sure she viewed it as a second chance but more as a life sentence. I do not understand this way of existing....blessings come in many packages and sometimes we fail to appreciate them.
Along her journey have come many people, special people who have reached out to her and genuinely wanted to help her...to love her...she held tightly to past hurts and held people at arms length at best. Few people made their way past her defenses and into her heart. Dominique made it there. She adored him, always told me if anything ever happened to me she would take care of him....the one ray of sunshine in many years of sorrow.
For about a month now Bean has been experienceing signs of her body rejecting this new liver, she ignored...denied until last weekend she found herself in the hospital in San Fransisco. All week we have been sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for the call to tell us she turned it around and was out of the woods....today Aunt Bean passed away.
Its sad really, to know she did very little living in her life. She really was a terrific person whom I loved very much. She was unhappy and a half gone kind of lady. Sad really because my children never had the chance to see how really wonderful she could be. Sad because she was alone at the end. No one should be alone in the end...
Things are a mess out there and my mother is heading out to figure things out. The Burrito and I are going along. We will be flying to California Monday morning. I have so many prayers to pray over this sudden trip. protection, wisdom, peace....and such and such...
Tonight I am reminded of the Bible where it says you shall reap that which you sow....sow sadness and bad attitude and well......you get the idea.
I have a million things to do before we take off Monday...am off and running now!