anticipation

It is nearly 1115pm I have to be up at 5am in order to get this brood sparkly shiny and ready for our big day. Tomorrow at 815am we will stand in courtroom 202B before the judge who has resided over out sweet boys case since before he was born and we will promise to be his forever family. we will vow to love him and care for him as if he were born to us...
This time is unlike any other. Every other adoption I have done has been very bitter sweet for me. I have grieved right along side the birth family for their loss for the children's loss of family connections. This time is different. There IS a part of me that grieves. A part that is sad for the loss. But not as a momma to a momma as before. This time I am sad for my son. I grieve for HIS loss. I am sad for his loss of connection with people who never really connected with him. I am sad that I do not have the same story to share with him one day. I don't have a story of fight and strength and deep love. His first chapter is sad. and for that reason I grieve.
Tomorrow will feel more celebratory to me, I will rejoice in answered prayers and miracles that only come from God. I will THANK HIM for the grace He gave to each of the special people who were placed in our sons life to fight FOR him. They remained faithful through to the end. I will celebrate the 'family' who has prayed faithfully diligently and without ceasing for our boy. The people who have been most important in his life thus far will be present in that courtroom with us tomorrow. I am very sad that Dominique will not be there. But I know he loves his newest brother and wishes he could be there with us.
I plan to write more about our journey and how it has changed my life in a dramatic way.
until then....good night.

I chose this one since Dom wont be there....