peace : absence of war or hostilities; harmonious
I think, for me, the year 2010 can be summed up with both of these words.
My world has been rocked to the core and much of the time I have felt as though my heart, my mind, my soul, my very existence has been in pieces resembling broken glass. Still shiny and reflected in places yet disconnected and scattered from the rest of me.
2010 has been a year of trials and triumphs. successes and failures. broken hearts, even joy. Isn't it funny how all these seem to be impossible to exist together yet they do come in pairs. As if you can not possibly experience joy unless your heart has been broken. I like to think I have learned lessons I am intended to learn, make changes I needed to make, show love to those I would prefer not to be around. (lets face it, I am human and there are people in my world whom I would prefer not to have to see or talk to, but I hope with all my heart that I have been able to show love anyway even when I didn't feel like it.) I do know there has been more pain in the year 2010 than I have experienced in many years. Probably since the year I lost my Daddy.
What I really want to share this morning is not all of the pain and pieces of the year. but the moments when I felt as if I was completely alone and could not possibly take one more step forward or back. in those moments all through this year God has sent me reminders. telling me that He knows the pain and sorrow I carry. He has a plan and its OK that I do not understand. He is there.
pieces of peace:
my oldest dearest friend calls me after the house is asleep and we talk about nothing until 230am just like old times.
a brilliant sunset painted in purples, magenta and blues
a smiling child
a giggle
an unexpected Thank you from a random person
a hug from a dear lady who whispered encouragement in my ear on a day when I really needed to hear it
a friend who sees through my smile and sees my tears
a friend who sits with me in a darkened prayer room and allows me to cry my heart out
a random chat with an old friend who after 20 years still knows my heart
the way the snow and ice came down and kissed my trees and left a beautiful portrait of winter on my lawn
a passage in a book I randomly picked up to put away but sat and flipped through instead
a SCRIPTURE that breaths peace into my soul
I could write a novel filled with these kinds of moments. moments that randomly burst through the darkness of a bad day and shine HIS love on my face and let me know, really know that no matter the burdens of my day, no matter the condition of my heart. He loves me. and really that is all I need to know.
I can bare these sorrows, the pain and hurts and I can even continue to collect the scattered pieces and place them back together. I know the picture of who I am has been forever changed by the events of this year but that is not all together bad.
The photo I have posted was sent to me last night from a dear friend. It reminds me that perfect, peace-filled days do exist. I remember the day I walked through the field and sat on that bench.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
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