Madison's update

Wow. Honestly I think I am still in shock over the events that have unfolded in the last 2 weeks. I have to back up and give a little back up info before I give the update. Back in December when we were preparing to bring Madison home for the Christmas break we had a couple meetings about her future and what the best path to take would be. At that time we had an option to bring her back to Iowa and enter her into group care under her child waiver. If we had chosen to bring her home then all of her services would have been reinstated, and she would have transitioned naturally into adult services if they were needed at that point. In all of our discussions we decided to keep her in TC. We believe in this program and were told she would graduate from the program and from high school. We felt it was important to encourage her to focus and complete the program. Follow through with your word. finish what you start. So after Christmas we took her back. Fully believing in the program and her ability to complete and graduate. We were all on the same page. between then and now Madison has hit a few rough patches here and there. She has made progress and then lost ground. She has battled self injury and running away. But she always comes back and works harder than before. 2 weeks ago we received a text message from her counselor at TC informing us that she will be discharged from their program June 1, 2010 because she is now 18. 18 and 3 months is apparently the magic number. I have refrained from writing about this so far because I have been emotionally unstable and definitely unable to write with an objective heart. with out angry fear and bitterness laced in between each word. I am still angry. confused. scared. but now I have been forced into survival mode again. I have to protect Madison form herself and from the world. I have to protect the other children. I have spent countless hours on the phone begging screaming crying searching for answers. searching for help. Only to find that our decision in December to believe in TC and support her completion of the program lost her all services. She now has to be wait-listed (#264~a 2 to 3 year wait) I was told to bring her home and wait for her to injure herself or someone else and then take her to the local ER. They would then admit for a 3 day eval. and send her back....we were expected to live in that cycle until she reaches the top of the wait list. OR (they say with optimism) you can always drop her at the local shelter, she can eat and sleep there but will have to leave during the day....WHAT???? as if I would even consider this an option. I exhausted all my resources. Foster Care contacts. Adoption contacts. CASA contacts. Dropz of Hope contacts. NOTHING. I became discouraged when finally a call I had made a week before was finally returned and although he could not help me he gave me the name of a NPO he said he didn't know much about them and honestly thought they only helped young men but told me to call. I called left a message and the tag/waiting game began. Thank the Good Lord for Sara. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. Her patience. Her wisdom. Her support. She willingly went out of her way, above and beyond any reasonable efforts to help me in my search. It is because of her initial phone call tot he new place that we were even able to get an interview. It turns out my contact was correct. Thus far they have served inner city kids in before and after school programs and they have a group home for young men. A shadow of disappointment threatened to cover me when the however was softly spoken.  HOWEVER. In June they will be opening a group home for young ladies...words softly spoken soothed my fears a tad. And I was able to allow hope to shine through once again. We set up a meeting where Scott Sara and myself all met with the House Mother. From there we decided to set up a phone interview with Madison. Last Monday I talked with Madison about the program and the idea of her entering the house as her next step. Tuesday Sara followed up with a phone call to Madison to answer any questions. (Madison still has no idea that she has to leave TC)  Both phone calls went well. Thursday Dee from the new place called down and spent a little over an hour on the phone interviewing Madison. Dee then called me to let me know she will be sending an application to Madison once it is complete and returned they will go over it and decide.
Honestly. This program is our only chance to help Madison. It is not perfect. It has its fair share of fear-filled areas. But the good out-weighs the bad and I believe Madison needs to be there. This program focuses on daily living skills, preparing young adults to live independently (or as independently as possible) prepares them to be able to seek and keep employment and also has a special agreement with the local community college for them to complete their high school education. Which is HUGE since TC is discharging her before she completes high school.
I spoke with Madison tonight, she received the application in the mail and has begun filling it out, her counselor will help her finish it up tomorrow and get it into the mail.
Please pray this is the door we are supposed to enter. Pray protection over my daughter as she gains a lot of freedom. Freedom she has never had before. I know I can not protect her. I can not heal her heart. But I do know the ONE who can.
Love you all
Angela