hanging out with the cousins

Alex got tired of waiting for the wedding to begin...Ipod to the rescue!
Macayla, Colum, Lij and Dom in the background.
Alex and Colum
Dominique and Macayla.
Dom and Macayla
Elijah with Colum and Macayla at the wedding.
Alex in the background, Isaiah playing a game, Colum attacking Lij...again.


Alex and Lij playing army men.
Dominique got Colum back for all his sneak attacks.
Colum and Macayla attacking Dominique.
Isaiah and Alex playing a game.
Alexander my handsome nephew!
Lij playing a little guitar hero.
The kids had a great time with cousin they rarely see. Fun times playing at Uncle Nate's house and goofing off at the wedding. Making memories.

long drive

We left home at 4:20 pm on Thursday afternoon. The boys nearly drove my poor dear brother crazy within the first 25 miles. So, we had a little conference and the settled right down! Ladies and gentleman I would like to let you all know that it is possible to drive for 22 hours in a van with 2 boys and NO electronic entertainment. We played games, read books, drew pictures. I created scavenger hunts for them and we had FUN! As a precaution I did give Elijah some dramamine around 8:30 because he has a history of car sickness. But I am happy to report he has outgrown the problem and did not require another dose the whole time.
Around 10 or 1030 both boys conked out and slept ALL night. Nearly 9 hours!
Around 3:00 in the morning shortly after we crossed the boarder into Ohio we were driving into a thunderstorm and suddenly right out the drivers side of the van we both saw a skinny tornado drop out of the storm clouds. I twisted and twirled around and did not stay long. We were both shocked to say the least. But relieved that the boys slept right through it! WHEW!
Philip and I both grew extremely tired so at 4am we pulled into a rest area about 30 miles outside of Columbus Ohio and tried to take a nap. He slept for about an hour....I tossed and turned and dozed a bit. While listening to the wind whip through the trees. And my thoughts swirling about wondering if a stranger would walk up and knock on the window...crazy things fly through ones mind when they have been awake for 22 hours straight. Around 530 we decided to get back on the road.
The boys woke around 7am. We continued our search for a good cup of coffee...finally Elijah spotted a Star Bucks around 1010 am. SCORE!!! We pulled into the parking lot and Lij pops up from lying down and says "Do you suppose the have a spherical donut that I might sit upon? A toilet would be nice cuz I REALLY gotta GO!!" We all laughed quite hard over that one! And yes, they dd have one and he felt so much better. Not only that but Philip and I had the first good cup of coffee the whole trip!! We had stopped around 1am and picked up a gas station coffee and both ended up with a tummy ache. ACK!!
At some point in the after noon we realized that the garmin was taking us on a long detour. So we had a little break, reprogrammed it and were back on the road. Finally arrived at Nathan's house at 308 pm. Exhausted, hungry, in need of a shower and ever so happy to out of the van!!
Philip headed straight for his hotel and I to the shower. Following the shower we took Dominique to Target to pick up a few things and then ordered some pizza to celebrrate his 19th birthday! I can hardly believe my 'baby' is already 19! I am so very proud of the young man he has grown into! It is so nice to be able to actually hug his neck too!!
Today we ran a few errands.
Nicole and her family brought mother and Alex over from NJ. We had a nice afternoon. a bit chaotic but really fun!!
Tomorrow will be a nice day!

blog break for a few days

Unless I have access to computer service at Nathan's house I will not be blogging until I return from the wedding.
Tomorrow is our last day of school. Isaiah has 6th grade graduation at 11, followed by lunch with the parents. Then Samuel has kindergarten graduation at 230.
Right after we get home from school we will be packing the van and Philip (my big brother) Isaiah, Elijah and I will be driving to Philadelphia for the wedding, an 18 hour drive. I have tons of activities packed for the boys. Dramamine just in case Lij still gets car sick...ew! Pray not!! We are planning to drive straight through just like Dominique and I did in January.
We will get to see Dominique at the wedding and then he will ride back with us. YAY!
I will have tons of pictures and I am sure many stories to tell when I return!

for the ladies only....warning if you are male do not read this post!

My turn to rant...
After 4 different shopping trips 3 with kids 1 without I finally found a dress for my brother Nathan's wedding. Only to realize after I bought it (at a very great price I might add!!) that I need a different bra. Are you seriously telling me I now have to go bra shopping???? I hate shopping anyway but for this??? UGH!!!!
After I got my hair cut this morning I decided to swing by JC Penny and pick up the stupid bra and be on my way. Sounds simple right??? Well, let me just tell you it could not have been a more complicated, infuriating, horrifying, awful experience. I first tried on 3 in Penny's, no luck. Went down to Younkers no luck, stopped into Sears, non there either. Now you must understand it is not because they do not HAVE strapless bras....its that strapless bras are stupid and I do believe after today made for the perky little boobs of young ladies OR those who have had them surgically altered....not for the likes of ME!
I came home half deciding to return the dress and start all over. Changed my mind and ran out to Merle Hay Mall. Kohls first. Nothing. Younkers. After finally figuring out that the "intimate apparel" is on the basement level. (I now believe the department is strategically placed so people like me wont scare away their good customers!) I begin the torturous feat of picking and trying on these hideous traps that fashion designers like to call a bra...
HRUMPH!!!!
Most days I am totally at peace with my roundish figure. Realizing that although I would benefit from a trip to the gym or a run or some rabbit food. truthfully, I just do not have the energy left over to figure all that out and basically I am happy...that is until the dressing room wars begin....
First of all....why why WHY do they keep dressing rooms so stinking HOT???? Lets face it ladies we are already miserable being in there but to have to work up a sweat just standing how are we expected to wriggle into some half spandex half who knows what contraption they call a bra????
secondly....I will never understand the purpose of the kind of strapless bra that is like a sock. Not only is it weird but provides zero support...Like I really want everyone at the wedding to know that I have granny boobs! Who would even waste their money on such a thing?
Do you have any idea how many styles there are to chose from?? the sock, the tube, the push-up strapless, the bustier, the slip/goodness only knows what....there are some I would not even be able to describe!
After hopping and squeezing and shoving and sweating and crying and pouting and kicking and nearly rolling down the hall, finally I found one. I almost did a little happy dance except for a couple things...one I am not really happy cuz I hate shopping and I have decided for real...I hate boobs. I think we should be created with a feature that makes them disappear when their usefulness runs out...had kids...nursed...done BYE-BYE! But since we were not created with such amazing features. I trudged all sweaty grouchy and dis-sheveled to the cashier. Who was a bit too chipper for my grumpy self...$67....what??? WHAT??? did you say sixty-seven dollars??? In American money??? are you flipping kidding me??? I would have been far better off taking the original stupid dress back and started over completely...
Bra shopping is not for the faint of heart...nor is it for those living on a budget! end rant...thank you very much I feel oh so much better!

Where do I begin?
Thanks to the generosity of friends who stepped up and took our children we made the very long trek down to see Madison for the first time since she has been away.
I am not sure what I expected. You know me, there were a million different thoughts racing through my mind and I had worked out every possible scenario I could think of.
I packed everything each child would need, Picked Samuel and Amaris up from school at 1130 on Friday. Dropped Amaris off at Wendi's, ran through the McDonald's drive thru to grab lunch for Sam. Switched vehicles, dropped Samuel and The Burrito off at Miss Trudy's house. We were on the road by 1:00.
The drive down was tense and quiet. Neither of us had much to say as neither of us knew quite what to expect. We have had little communication from Madison. And the staff are not allowed to give too much info over the phone. Who knew silence could feel so heavy.
We arrived at the hotel around 7pm. Grabbed some dinner and then back to the hotel, I had such an awful headache all I wanted to do was Lay down in the darkest quietest place on earth and not get up until it left my head. Unfortunately for me I woke with the same awful headache I went to sleep with. UGH!
The weather was hot and humid. 87 degrees and no air conditioning in the building we visited in.
I guess I really don't know what I expected when we finally got to see her and spend time with her. She practically hugged the life right out of me. It was good to see her sweet freckled face.
Not much else has changed.....yet.....The training for parents was good. We got a lot of information. Confirmation that I am not crazy. Or alone.
We were ushered into an old cafeteria where our visit was to be held. There sitting in small clusters at long tables were other parents and their girls. Mirrors of us.
We did not know we were to bring lunch for us. Penny the cook was kind enough to take care of us this time. Next time we will know. We could of brought games to play. 4 hours is a long time to sit in one chair. Lets face it when your daughter is still mad at you there isn't a whole lot to chat about either. I had gotten a message on my phone from her counselor earlier in the day on Friday saying if we brought ingredients for cookies we MIGHT be able to bake. So we stopped at WalMart on our way and bought some cookie dough. About half way through our visit we baked cookies and shared them with the other families.
It is clear that she has not yet arrived to the place where she sees the bennefits of where she is. She is not yet ready to embrace all the things God has in store for her. I didn't really expect her to be there yet. It has only been one month and 9 days after all. I do expect that she will tests the waters a bit more, I do expect ehr to stay angry a while longer and try to manuever her way out. But, I also expect that one of these days....whether it be a long time or very soon....one of these days when I answer the phone or see her sweet face....my daughter will have metamorphosed into a beautiful butterfly...for now she is still a little caterpillar....weaving her cocoon.
Our good bye was to my surprise easier than I anticipated. But almost as soon as we left the building sadness crept in and my heart clouded over.
The drive home was long....the garmin got us lost and added an hour to the trip. We arrived home at 11pm Isaiah and Elijah had been home with my mother about 45 minutes and were freshly showered waiting for our arrival.
We picked up the rest of the monsters from church this morning. We had good reports from all the wonderful caregivers! So either my monsters are nicer to others OR they lied...teehee. either way I am grateful for the care you all provided for my monsters this weekend!
Still have the headache and now we are preparing to enter into the final week of school then off to Uncle Nate's wedding. whew!

the Burrito...the register...NO

So the Burrito is a little man who loves. no I really mean LOVES to test the waters and push the limits. It is hard to believe this little terror was failure to thrive, seriously under weight and way behind in development when he arrived! God is so good!
This morning we have been having a little battle of the wills around the dumb register cover. We have one by the front door that is loose and you can move it. Well, the Burrito loves to go over and mess with it. First he will kick it and look at me to see if I have noticed. (since he knows VERY well he is not supposed to touch it!) No! I say...he grins....then he picks it up...NO! I say and take it away to place it back in its spot....he grins bigger....and reaches down to slide it ever so slightly across the wall...NO! Do you want a spanking? ...grinning he slaps his own leg...and tells me no....then he rests his chubby little hand on the top of the register....I stand up and he grins and giggles and scoots away from the register...I reward his obedience with a robust GOOD BOY!!!! at which he promply responds by placing his TOES on the register and giggles and laughs and looks at me as if to say ha ha ha.....NO! I stand up walk over pick him up to scold him and he kisses my nose and sings I LOVE YOU!!!!
I quit!

I love this story!

The story of the butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

So have a nice day and struggle a little and teach well.

It amazes me at how incredibly busy we make our lives. We get all caught up in the whirl of events and look and up and suddenly a month has buzzed by.
This month has been like that for me. I hate being so busy that it seems you can't even catch your breath.
A few of the things filling my calendar this month....
baseball
graduation parties
weddings
visit with Madison
end of the year activities
6th grade graduation
kindergarten graduation
Omaha zoo
trip to MN for Isaiah
trip to PA for my brothers wedding
church activities
therapy/doctor appointments
dentist
haircuts
whew! I am absolutely sure I have forgotten some things. The reward? A nice peaceful quiet month of June. aahh!