Who am I....Does anyone else ever ask themselves this question? Sometimes I can rattle off, with confidence, a laundry list of adjectives that describe who I am.Then there are times I seem to struggle. I have no idea. During those times who I am and why I am here are mysteries waiting to be discovered but always eluding me. Or so it seems at the moment.
Lately I have been thinking about this so when the time arrives and I wonder without an inkling of answer. I will be ready.
I guess who I am depends on who YOU are in part, I think that is at least a good place to start. So....I am daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, aunt, cousin, cook, baker, comforter, confidante, security blanket, christian, counselor, fixer of all things, teacher, author, listener, shoulder, supporter, cheerleader, advocate, house keeper, professional shopper not in the fun kind of way, with a family of 7 children you have to be a professional to stretch the ever shrinking dollar to get the most out of it.
But who am I....
I am created unique, and different than anyone else. And yet there are times when I can't figure out why. I am a woman who cares deeply and completely for those who enter her life. I would fight for you, along side you and against you if had to in order to uphold the good in this world. I am strong.
strength noun . 1. the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor. 2. mental power, force, or vigor. 3. moral power, firmness, or courage.
yes, I am strong.
I am relentlessly seeking the will and plan for my life and most times wonder if I will ever get it figured out. Some one once told me that the plan for my life is making a difference in the lives of children and I am already doing that every day so why am I always persuing a different will. hhhmmmmm.....of course I thought a lot about that statement...I disagree in part. Yes, God created me with a heart of HUGE capacity for children especially hurting children. But, if the will and plan ended there then I would have a certain peace about me. I would be settled and know...this is it....but I don't....there is more to the plan, I will find it, and when I do then His plan will be complete. and peace will take up residence within the walls of my heart.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
what is your legacy
lagacy....something that is handed down or remains from one generation or time.
hhhmmmm, so a legacy is not necessarily money or property or some other material remnant of a life lived.
In case you are wondering if I fell and bumped my head. No, I didn't, and yes, I know what a legacy is. The thing I don't know and understand is when people get caught up in the greed of dollar signs and lose sight of the importance of the legacy. Lately I have had much time and plenty of opportunity to ponder this subject.
What do you wish for your legacy to be...As I was studying the other day I came across a few questions that I have been pondering:
What do you believe? ( not really as easy a question as you might think)
What do you stand for? (different than belief)
What, to you is completely non-negotiable?
What is your legacy?
I think the honest answers to these questions will give you a good idea of what your legacy will be.
What will be my 'mark' on this world.
I am sure all of you have heard that song or saying what will your dash say. The dash is the line between your birth date and the date of your death. It represents your living. What will people say about the time between?
I don't really have any great revelations to bestowe upon you tonight, I am still pondering these thoughts with in my own heart.
The only thing I know for sure is that people will not remember me by greed....love motivates me. I don't want to be thought of by what I owned. That is as far as I have gotten thus far....will let you know when I get the rest figured out.
In the mean time....why don't you think about it and let me know what you think.
hhhmmmm, so a legacy is not necessarily money or property or some other material remnant of a life lived.
In case you are wondering if I fell and bumped my head. No, I didn't, and yes, I know what a legacy is. The thing I don't know and understand is when people get caught up in the greed of dollar signs and lose sight of the importance of the legacy. Lately I have had much time and plenty of opportunity to ponder this subject.
What do you wish for your legacy to be...As I was studying the other day I came across a few questions that I have been pondering:
What do you believe? ( not really as easy a question as you might think)
What do you stand for? (different than belief)
What, to you is completely non-negotiable?
What is your legacy?
I think the honest answers to these questions will give you a good idea of what your legacy will be.
What will be my 'mark' on this world.
I am sure all of you have heard that song or saying what will your dash say. The dash is the line between your birth date and the date of your death. It represents your living. What will people say about the time between?
I don't really have any great revelations to bestowe upon you tonight, I am still pondering these thoughts with in my own heart.
The only thing I know for sure is that people will not remember me by greed....love motivates me. I don't want to be thought of by what I owned. That is as far as I have gotten thus far....will let you know when I get the rest figured out.
In the mean time....why don't you think about it and let me know what you think.
Friday, September 26, 2008
tough decision
So....we have been wrestling with a tough decision . Send Isaiah back to public school for one last year where all his friends are and where he can be a part of the community. Or....do we continue home schooling. He has been wanting to go to school for a while now. This is our last opportunity to be able to send him. The junior high next year will be too crowded and too difficult to gaurantee his safety. After much debating, much prayer and discussion. We have decided. I know alot of people will disagree with our decision. But, I have a peace about it and so know it is the right one for this year. October 6. Isaiah will officially become a member of Mrs. Douglas's 6th grade class. Please encourage him if you see him, he is nervous and a bit scared of re-entering the school thing after being home schooled. We could not ask for better teachers than what we have at our school. When I talked to our principal this afternoon, I told him, I would never trust any other staff of teachers or anyother school to do this.
We have a unique situation here and I think we would be foolish not to allow him the opportunity to go if that is what he wants to do. We will deal with next year when it arrives. For now....this is it!
We have a unique situation here and I think we would be foolish not to allow him the opportunity to go if that is what he wants to do. We will deal with next year when it arrives. For now....this is it!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Hard to live by...but necessary to try.
Luke 6:27-28 NLT
"But if you are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you."
"But if you are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you."
Elijah's post
mommy and me...
boy up high...
baby swingin' with mommy...
mommy and babe...
baby chasing shadow...
Zephan laughing...
swingin' upside down...
Elijah upside down...
daddy upside down...Elijah walked around with me outdoors yesterday telling me what to take pictures of, telling me to place them on my blog, AND what he wanted me to call each picture. So, Here it is my boy.
weekend in review
Friday night Isaiah had his birthday party with his friends. Elijah stayed all night at Christian's house. Saturday Elijah had a football game, he made his first touchdown. YEAH LIJ! We went to a party for our good friends Randy and Pastor Lori. I hate saying good bye!! Was good to see them and give them our wishes and prayers. Bonus, Dominique followed us over to the party so we got to spend some time with him too. Big smiles all around for that. Please pray for Madison....sometimes the road to healing must travel painful places first, that is where we are right now. Sunday was church and time outdoors. Phone calls and some tears. But all in all weekend was good.
Isaiah's 12th Birthday party
The boys had a blast! They played outdoors, played board games, played video games, built legos, ate BBQ, indulged in the chocolate fountain, experimented with new concoctions....eeeewww....not even gonna tell you some of the things those crazy boys came up with! Watched movies, had pancakes for breakfast, tons of laughter, tons of fun!Friday, September 19, 2008
Nuggets from my day
Nuggets....hhhmmm....nuggets are the little things that when added up make your day wonderful...especially when having a particularly bad day, I like to take a few moments and add up all the nuggets of the day. For me, it hasn't only been a particularly bad day it has been one of those weeks. I thought it would never come to an end. I have shed more tears this week than I have in a very long time. So today when feeling down and blue I remembered NUGGETS! So I took stock and found that the nuggets from today alone far out weigh all the things that caused me tears all week. So, instead of listing all the reasons I have cried...today you get the nuggets of my day...
Scott left a hot cup of coffee for me right beside my bed as he walked out the door for work...nothing better than a sip of hot coffee before getting out of bed!
I actually got to take a shower without being interupted. Glorious!Isaiah was up when I got out opf the bath room and was excited for his party tonight, he was eager to help get things done to prepare for his friends arrival even though no one would be arriving for 12 more hours.
I love the sleepy bleary eyed "good morning" from the little monsters.
Elijah had a hard time this morning he did not want to go to school, after bribing him with a ham and cheese omelet and hot chocolate, he said 'if you give me a hug I will do what ever you want me to'....if only everything were that easy!
I stood out in the driveway waiting for the bus and my sweet friend Elle came for her morning greeting, grinning from ear to ear holding her little hand out for me to finish off the kisses her mommy had already placed there. "Hey Angewa (I love how she says my name) my mommy said to say hi to you." "Thanks Elle, I like your mommy she is my friend" "I know she told me that." The bus arrived and off she ran grinning at me over her shoulder. Standing there in my driveway with the sun glaring in my eyes as I waved my good byes, I decided everyone should start their day like this. How much better does it get...standing with the sweetness of a child in the early morning sun cup of hot coffee in hand waving as the bus pulls out of sight. OK so my coffee was luke warm at best by then but you get the idea.
Into the house I run to get going on the day Isaiah is there smiling at me. "what?' I asked as I rushed through the room. "nothing, I just love you mom" aaaahhhh my boy just made my day brighter for sure.
Time to make a phone call I was dreading all morning, I imagined dialing the nubers one digit at a time, not wanting to hold the conversation I had rehersed in my mind. Knowing where I wanted it to go and where it was destined to go were not the same. No answer, leave a message. 2.5 seconds later...the phone rings...although the outcome was neither what I had imagined nor what I wished for, it was a special conversation that brought peace to me for a time. I love when a special friend knows your heart and says all the right things without being asked or told.
A bit later in the morning in the midst of trying to quiet a fussy babe the phone rings and Dominique's week just went from bad to worse in the time it took him to log into his GVC account on line...MOOOOMMMMM I need your help.
A quick phone call to my dear friend at the college and she, without hesitation got on instant message and helped me work everything out for Dom. I love when a friend will stop their day to help you out. Thanks Jodi!! You are the best!
Holding a sleeping baby Zephan snuggly in my arms as I watch that little suckling motion even when his thumb has fallen out.
His tiny sigh that lets me know he is good and asleep so I can place him safely in bed.
Do you see what I mean??? I am not even to lunch time yet and Already have so many nuggets!
Talked with Gramma, I love love love that everyday at a specific time I talk to Gramma. No matter where I am not matter what I am doing every day at the same time is Gramma's time. Some days we talk for 30 seconds or less, some days we ramble on and on about all kinds of things. She brings such joy to my heart!
Driving down the street I stopped to chat with another little friend of mine. Sara was walking her dog. She always has the biggest smile on her face. I love talking to her and her sisters.
Recieved an encouraging e-mail from an old friend. Moments like those get tucked away in the corners of my heart to ponder later.
I love hearing Isaiah humming in his blissful happiness as he patiently waits for the minutes to tick by before his friends arrive for his party.
Good conversation with another good friend on the phone...and not getting interupted...even better!
Baby Zephan loves music, he loves for me to sing this one song. I always know when he wants me to sing because the song has motions and he will pick up my hands and try to sing the beginning. As I begin the song I start out really slow and he gets frustrated and smiles at the same time. Above.......(long pause)below.......before.....behinde.....around me......(stop) he squeels and holds my hands....I ask MORE? he grins.....above, below, before, behinde, around me....(faster each time) above, before, below, behinde, around me.....above, before, below, behinde, around me....Jesus is the rock on which I stand. He claps and laughs and grins and begs for more.....
Kisses and hugs when unexpected and not asked for....Elijah is the best at those!
Chocolate fountain instead of birthday cake. New love...pineapple in the chocolate fountain...YYUUUUMMM!
BBQ
friends....laughter of children...the smile on Isaiah's face when Jordan arrived and decided to stay.
4 extra boys in the house and all of them getting along laughing playing having a BLAST!!! I'd take 10 extra boys any day before i'd take extra girls!
All these nuggets when added together....make all the sadness of my week fade in comparison to the many blessings I have recieved. And these are only a few of the many many nuggets from today.
Take a moment....count your nuggets....smile.....hug the neck of those around you...go ahead try....
Scott left a hot cup of coffee for me right beside my bed as he walked out the door for work...nothing better than a sip of hot coffee before getting out of bed!
I actually got to take a shower without being interupted. Glorious!Isaiah was up when I got out opf the bath room and was excited for his party tonight, he was eager to help get things done to prepare for his friends arrival even though no one would be arriving for 12 more hours.
I love the sleepy bleary eyed "good morning" from the little monsters.
Elijah had a hard time this morning he did not want to go to school, after bribing him with a ham and cheese omelet and hot chocolate, he said 'if you give me a hug I will do what ever you want me to'....if only everything were that easy!
I stood out in the driveway waiting for the bus and my sweet friend Elle came for her morning greeting, grinning from ear to ear holding her little hand out for me to finish off the kisses her mommy had already placed there. "Hey Angewa (I love how she says my name) my mommy said to say hi to you." "Thanks Elle, I like your mommy she is my friend" "I know she told me that." The bus arrived and off she ran grinning at me over her shoulder. Standing there in my driveway with the sun glaring in my eyes as I waved my good byes, I decided everyone should start their day like this. How much better does it get...standing with the sweetness of a child in the early morning sun cup of hot coffee in hand waving as the bus pulls out of sight. OK so my coffee was luke warm at best by then but you get the idea.
Into the house I run to get going on the day Isaiah is there smiling at me. "what?' I asked as I rushed through the room. "nothing, I just love you mom" aaaahhhh my boy just made my day brighter for sure.
Time to make a phone call I was dreading all morning, I imagined dialing the nubers one digit at a time, not wanting to hold the conversation I had rehersed in my mind. Knowing where I wanted it to go and where it was destined to go were not the same. No answer, leave a message. 2.5 seconds later...the phone rings...although the outcome was neither what I had imagined nor what I wished for, it was a special conversation that brought peace to me for a time. I love when a special friend knows your heart and says all the right things without being asked or told.
A bit later in the morning in the midst of trying to quiet a fussy babe the phone rings and Dominique's week just went from bad to worse in the time it took him to log into his GVC account on line...MOOOOMMMMM I need your help.
A quick phone call to my dear friend at the college and she, without hesitation got on instant message and helped me work everything out for Dom. I love when a friend will stop their day to help you out. Thanks Jodi!! You are the best!
Holding a sleeping baby Zephan snuggly in my arms as I watch that little suckling motion even when his thumb has fallen out.
His tiny sigh that lets me know he is good and asleep so I can place him safely in bed.
Do you see what I mean??? I am not even to lunch time yet and Already have so many nuggets!
Talked with Gramma, I love love love that everyday at a specific time I talk to Gramma. No matter where I am not matter what I am doing every day at the same time is Gramma's time. Some days we talk for 30 seconds or less, some days we ramble on and on about all kinds of things. She brings such joy to my heart!
Driving down the street I stopped to chat with another little friend of mine. Sara was walking her dog. She always has the biggest smile on her face. I love talking to her and her sisters.
Recieved an encouraging e-mail from an old friend. Moments like those get tucked away in the corners of my heart to ponder later.
I love hearing Isaiah humming in his blissful happiness as he patiently waits for the minutes to tick by before his friends arrive for his party.
Good conversation with another good friend on the phone...and not getting interupted...even better!
Baby Zephan loves music, he loves for me to sing this one song. I always know when he wants me to sing because the song has motions and he will pick up my hands and try to sing the beginning. As I begin the song I start out really slow and he gets frustrated and smiles at the same time. Above.......(long pause)below.......before.....behinde.....around me......(stop) he squeels and holds my hands....I ask MORE? he grins.....above, below, before, behinde, around me....(faster each time) above, before, below, behinde, around me.....above, before, below, behinde, around me....Jesus is the rock on which I stand. He claps and laughs and grins and begs for more.....
Kisses and hugs when unexpected and not asked for....Elijah is the best at those!
Chocolate fountain instead of birthday cake. New love...pineapple in the chocolate fountain...YYUUUUMMM!
BBQ
friends....laughter of children...the smile on Isaiah's face when Jordan arrived and decided to stay.
4 extra boys in the house and all of them getting along laughing playing having a BLAST!!! I'd take 10 extra boys any day before i'd take extra girls!
All these nuggets when added together....make all the sadness of my week fade in comparison to the many blessings I have recieved. And these are only a few of the many many nuggets from today.
Take a moment....count your nuggets....smile.....hug the neck of those around you...go ahead try....
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