camping

The kids wanted to go camping this weekend, so we pitched our tent in the backyard, built a campfire, cooked dinner out over the fire, made s'mores, and played outdoors all day.
Elijah's attempt at hula hooping.
Amaris collecting sticks for our fire.
Madison, Isaiah, and Elijah collecting sticks.
A little bocci ball.
Dinner.
Scott and some of the kids went into town last night to watch fire works. I stayed home with baby-no-name, Sam and Amaris. We did baths, and watched a movie. When the rest of them got home we loaded the tent with sleeping bags and pillows. Scott, Isaiah, Elijah and Madison all camped out. The rest of us slept indoors. The kids had a blast.

Peace

What do you think of the view? This is what I see in the evening while swinging in my porch swing. What is it about a swing or rocking chair, especially when sitting out doors in the fresh air, that invites peace to wash over ones soul and fill them with awe for what lies around them? It always amazes me how the rocker can instantly calm a fussy babe, soothe the hurt feelings of a child, and ease the loneliness of an elderly widow.
I love to sit in my swing and listen to the sounds of creation around me. The birds singing, children laughing, a baby's cry. I love to swing, lay my head back against the back and thank God for all the things that fill my senses. The smells of fresh air, mixed with freshly turned soil and blooming gardens. The sounds of nature and a train off in the distance, the way the light changes as the day grows old and prepares for night. The way I can see the rays of the setting sun filter through the clouds always makes me feel closer to heaven and that always makes me think of my Dad. That vision brings him so close that sometimes if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can even feel him sitting and swinging next to me. What is it about swings and rockers that bring peace to the soul?

forgiveness...

Can forgiveness really come out of heart break? Can forgiveness really be born through tears? There are times in everyone's lives when forgiveness is required, where we are at the time determines our ability to truly forgive. Sometimes forgiveness comes swiftly and rests our soul. Sometimes time mends the pain in our hearts and forgiveness arrives gradually. Other times it takes a life time. You realize you have held onto a lifetime of pain in the corners of your heart. Never having it in the forefront of your being, never acknowledging its constant existence until one day you wake up and realize that part of your soul has been starving for a lifetime. Only to realize the only way to feed your soul is to let go of the pain and forgive. I am not naive enough to believe that we arrive instantly at the sea of forgetfulness. But a peaceful healing begins to fill your senses as you see the pain for what it is, and begin to let it go. Allowing God to take it away from you, removing the disease of unforgiving allowing you to grow new branches. There are times in life when you don't even realize you are still hanging onto pain, you wake up one day and say to yourself, "I thought that was over years ago." only to realize it has been hiding secretly in the deepest corner of who you are. In some ways coloring your actions, attitudes, and words over the years, becoming such a part of who you are that you aren't even sure of who you could have been. Some hurts are so deep that it takes a lifetime to overcome. The most difficult to accomplish is forgiveness of self. We are hardest on ourselves, not allowing ourselves the healing process and the joy that enters in when the job is done. God is working on my heart...I have learned through my fasting and prayer lately, I deserve my own forgiveness. When I allow myself the joy of walking the shores of the sea of forgetfulness then true growth will come. In my spirit, in my heart, in my soul. Healing has taken place and joy has come to stay. Because I have forgiven me...

Tournaments and trophys

Last Monday night, Isaiah competed in his 2008 golf tournament, he had a ball of fun! It was a great ending to the summer lessons. Nice job Isaiah!

Elijah and his baseball medal for 2008 season.

While I was in NJ Elijah's baseball team went to tournament play. I was sorry to miss his last 2 games but the team did amazing and more important, they had a blast playing together. What a great bunch of kids and coaches!

Where do you find the words?

Where do you find the words to heal the heart of a child? A heart that has been stolen and broken by someone they trust. How do you look in the eyes of a child and tell them that what you have spent their lifetime teaching does not always apply? How do you look in the eyes of a child who is hurting so deeply you feel every ounce of their pain in the very depths of your soul?
We teach children there are consequences for our actions, live by the 'Golden Rule', Treat others as you would want to be treated. When you make bad choices then bad things will happen, when you hurt someone, there is a price you must pay for that hurt. Confess, ask forgiveness, say you're sorry, (and mean it) take your punishment. I am sure if you are a parent you have taught your children these same things. If you make good choices then good things will come your way. God will bless you.
So.....what happens when something so incredibly horrible happens to one of your children, not of their own doing but at the hands of another....then your child finds the courage somewhere deep inside their heart to speak, and ask for help. Only to learn that nothing will ever happen. Your child is not to be believed, the act goes unpunished, the person who committed the act is let go with out consequence....
How do you tell that child you weren't lying to them all their life? How do you tell them that we may never see the consequence this side of heaven but rest assured there will be consequence with God. How do you tell your child that has to be enough, when your heart screams for justice, cries for consequence....
How do you look in the eyes of a hurting child and tell them it will be OK. When in your very own heart its not enough......Please someone tell me....

Stretching and growing....

When the Lord decides it is time for you to stretch and grow, look out! Whether you are ready or not...He will pull you in directions you never thought you could go, He will push you into places that you could never imagine. The crazy thing is that even when we think we are deeply rooted in our faith....there are times when we need pruning. How painful that can be!!!
God is working through this process with me. Many times I feel so inadequate and unworthy. God has shown me, lovingly shown me, that he created me, unique, and set apart from all others. He created me the way He did on purpose. Why is it always easier to see the work God does in those lives around us than it is see what He is doing in our own hearts??
The more time I spend in prayer and time with Him the more He is showing me. Some things have surprised me....others, I have had to surrender and leave at His feet. That is the part that I know will be difficult for me...I am very good at returning to the Throne and saying something like: "So, God, remember that stuff I laid at your feet yesterday? Can I have some of it back? I think I can handle it." He has shown me that He desires for me to leave it all, walk away, and rest in His hands.
I have decided the next time I have spending money I might buy a Message Bible. I like some of the translations and how they are so real. Not that I think less of the NKJ version but sometimes the message speaks a little louder. I would never be able to use it as my only study tool. Are you kidding me? I am the girl who has 3 different versions on my lap and all around me cross referencing, Searching for the one that speaks to my heart. I just think the Message would be a nice addition.
God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us. Ephesians 3:20 The Message.

Be Still...

This seems to be a theme for me lately....I guess I am in a season of life where I need to be reminded of who I am in Christ and that even when I feel lost in the world I am under the care and protection of God first and everything else falls somewhere there after.
Sometimes we get lost in the midst of our daily trials and tears and forget that no matter the storm, whether fierce or simple rain drops, we are covered by His love and protection. Many times it is in the storm that we are best at being 'still and knowing'.

Hill Song sings this song:

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hands
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father, You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God
Find rest my soul,
in Christ alone
Know His power,
in quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are GOD....

A song sings to my heart.

If you are a regular visitor here at Angela's place then you know that for quite some time now, I have been in a funk. Have you ever felt so down that you weren't sure there was an up any more? Then God sends a friend, or He guides your heart and eyes to a special passage in the Bible, or He comforts you with a sunset or rise. For me today hope came in a song and touched my soul. I am putting the lyrics here....just in case I am not alone in needing some medicine for the soul.
A group called FFH sings the song called 'Lord Move'

I can't find the words to pray
I'm a little down today
Can You help me?
Can You hold me?
I feel like a million miles away
And I don't know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?
What I need is for You to reach out your hand
You have taught me
No matter what You'd understand
chorus:
Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move, or move me.

I've looked everywhere to find
A simple peace of mind
I can't find nothing on my own
So I got to leave myself behinde
Take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto
Lord I know the only way is through this
Lord I know I need you to help me do this
Chorus:
Lord, move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So, Lord move, or move me.

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with Thee
Cause I am weak but Lord You are so strong
And You know It's been way too long

Lord, Move in a way, that I'v never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord Move...........Or Move Me.